Top Law Schools

Which of the two looks best:

1) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States with my family joining during vacations.

2) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations.

Seoulless wrote:Which of the two looks best:

1) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States with my family joining during vacations.

2) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations.

2. He's not traveling with his family

These are both confusing. Make it two sentences. Something like this:

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States. During vacations, my family would join him on the road.

I agree with the poster above. Both of your options are a bit more confusing than they need to be, and splitting it up makes more sense.

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

politics89 wrote:

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

politics89 wrote:

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Haha!! I didn't even realize I put that though I'm sure OP being an applicant to law school is smart enough not to copy and paste. That's good stuff

I have nothing to contribute--only that I laughed so much, I almost went insane.

xylocarp wrote:

politics89 wrote:

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Jesus. This made the entire admissions cycle worth it for me! Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks TLS!

Seoulless wrote:

xylocarp wrote:

politics89 wrote:

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Jesus. This made the entire admissions cycle worth it for me! Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks TLS!

Happy to be of service

jn7 wrote:My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

This.
Also, #1 is poorly written and #2 does not use commas correctly.

jn7 wrote:As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

URM to the max