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Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 7:28 pm
by act
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Re: Really Rough First Draft - Please help

Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:25 pm
by lawschool2014hopeful
Your first paragraph had potential to turn into something really personal, something unique

then you went into talking about the generic TFA story

Id much rather hear your story camping, literally or metaphorically.

Re: Really Rough First Draft - Please help

Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:27 pm
by yomisterd
jimmierock wrote:Your first paragraph had potential to turn into something really personal, something unique

then you went into talking about the generic TFA story

Id much rather hear your story camping, literally or metaphorically.
This.

Re: Really Rough First Draft - Please help

Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 10:12 pm
by act
Fair enough. The first paragraph originally went with a different concept that I then abandoned to go with this because I was told that I should try to sell the AmeriCorps thing. I will go back to the drawing board then, thank you.