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VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Posted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:22 pm
by Anonymous User
Deleted

Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:16 am
by Black Hat
I was just looking around and stumbled onto this. I do not have any substantive comments.

However, you have a typo in the second paragraph, second sentence. "She was no longer the animated woman she was once was, but rather a shell of her former self."

Good luck.

Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:34 am
by JVrva
What's the typo??

Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2013 2:01 am
by Black Hat
JVrva wrote:What's the typo??
"she was once was." I guess that isn't a 'hard typo.' However, it doesn't read well. It would sound better as "she once was." Just my opinion. Actually I think this is a 'hard typo', it doesn't sound right.