CLICK ME second draft. please critique it. thank you so much
Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:13 pm
PERSONAL STATEMENT
It felt as if I was in a desert. I had no food and no water. But this was worse. There was running water right in front of me and I couldn’t have it. It was torture. I was a high school football player who was fasting during the month of Ramadan. High school football was the center of attention in my small town. There was no way to escape being the focus of every conversation on Saturday mornings after our games. I was a wide receiver and my job was to make the defense look bad. Nothing gave me more of an adrenaline rush than to catch a hail mary over the quickest boys in the state. There was no greater feeling than this in the world.
While there was no greater feeling in the world than to make big plays in a football game, there was no worse feeling than to starve and dehydrate during games and practices. As a Muslim, I am required to fast thirty days during the month of Ramadan where I can’t eat or drink anything while the sun is in the sky. During my football years, Ramadan had overlapped with the season. I would simply sit down and watch all my teammates quench their thirsts during water breaks.
In this situation, most individuals would be forced to choose between their faith and their passion. I wasn’t going to accept sitting out of football for that month. I knew that the month was going to be tough because I would be handling no food or water during practices and going into games on an empty stomach. During practices I tried my best even though I had no energy. The effort I had to put in was beyond anything else I’ve ever had to endure. I was forced to put up with starvation, dehydration, dizziness, and headaches. I did it all for the sport I loved.
I would have to leave practices to go complete one of the five daily Muslim prayers. This occurred while all the other players stared me at strangely. Them staring at me it didn’t bother me, I’ve accepted who I was and what my beliefs were. My teammates would tease me the first couple of years that I fasted, but by my last year, they would tolerate it, as I would enlighten them on why I was fasting and what my religion was about.
This is my own recount of one of the many examples that set Muslims in America apart from non-muslim Americans. We try our best to fit in and work hard to keep up with the rest of society while remaining within the limits of what our religion allows. A Muslim who practices Islam strictly within its bounds will inevitably be different from most people living in America. Some Muslims are not as lucky as I was. My teammates had learned to accept my practicing because I vowed to stand up for who I was. I wouldn’t allow an opportunity to inform somebody about Islam slip. Tolerance leads to peace, and peace is the ultimate goal.
There still exist people who are unaccepting of those who are different. I’ve witness countless injustices where people were wronged because of hate. And being different is a cause of injustices. People look at you strangely, you are immediately judged, and the way you are treated is different. As an attorney, I want to help those who have been wronged. I want to promote justice and mutual understanding. What I ultimately want is to encourage dialogues and protect the civil liberties of those we are wronged. A law degree from __________ will help me accomplish my goal.
It felt as if I was in a desert. I had no food and no water. But this was worse. There was running water right in front of me and I couldn’t have it. It was torture. I was a high school football player who was fasting during the month of Ramadan. High school football was the center of attention in my small town. There was no way to escape being the focus of every conversation on Saturday mornings after our games. I was a wide receiver and my job was to make the defense look bad. Nothing gave me more of an adrenaline rush than to catch a hail mary over the quickest boys in the state. There was no greater feeling than this in the world.
While there was no greater feeling in the world than to make big plays in a football game, there was no worse feeling than to starve and dehydrate during games and practices. As a Muslim, I am required to fast thirty days during the month of Ramadan where I can’t eat or drink anything while the sun is in the sky. During my football years, Ramadan had overlapped with the season. I would simply sit down and watch all my teammates quench their thirsts during water breaks.
In this situation, most individuals would be forced to choose between their faith and their passion. I wasn’t going to accept sitting out of football for that month. I knew that the month was going to be tough because I would be handling no food or water during practices and going into games on an empty stomach. During practices I tried my best even though I had no energy. The effort I had to put in was beyond anything else I’ve ever had to endure. I was forced to put up with starvation, dehydration, dizziness, and headaches. I did it all for the sport I loved.
I would have to leave practices to go complete one of the five daily Muslim prayers. This occurred while all the other players stared me at strangely. Them staring at me it didn’t bother me, I’ve accepted who I was and what my beliefs were. My teammates would tease me the first couple of years that I fasted, but by my last year, they would tolerate it, as I would enlighten them on why I was fasting and what my religion was about.
This is my own recount of one of the many examples that set Muslims in America apart from non-muslim Americans. We try our best to fit in and work hard to keep up with the rest of society while remaining within the limits of what our religion allows. A Muslim who practices Islam strictly within its bounds will inevitably be different from most people living in America. Some Muslims are not as lucky as I was. My teammates had learned to accept my practicing because I vowed to stand up for who I was. I wouldn’t allow an opportunity to inform somebody about Islam slip. Tolerance leads to peace, and peace is the ultimate goal.
There still exist people who are unaccepting of those who are different. I’ve witness countless injustices where people were wronged because of hate. And being different is a cause of injustices. People look at you strangely, you are immediately judged, and the way you are treated is different. As an attorney, I want to help those who have been wronged. I want to promote justice and mutual understanding. What I ultimately want is to encourage dialogues and protect the civil liberties of those we are wronged. A law degree from __________ will help me accomplish my goal.