PS rough first draft -- is the theme ok?
Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 3:30 pm
Not edited for grammar spelling or style. would like to get some feedback on the general theme as a PS (not much talking about "why law") and its length etc. Thanks a lot!
The air kept getting thinner around me. Breathing was more difficult. I could hear myself panting with each step I took. This was a familiar feeling. With my heart busy pumping blood into my vessels, I felt more determined than ever to reach the peak of this black rock.
The Everest Base Camp in Nepal is at an altitude of 17,598 ft, but I was trying to reach a higher point. Kala Patthar, commonly called “the black rock” in Nepali and Hindi, is located 18,514 ft above sea level. I wasn’t there just for the astounding sunset view of the himalayan mountains. I was there to prove myself, that I was capable of reaching the summit of a high mountain.
That was October 2009. Two months before that, I was taken down by swine flu right before my Kilimanjaro summit. I was not a mountain climber; I was just a regular graduate student sitting in a computer lab most of the time. I booked the trek using money that I earned from Google Summer of Code project, out of the love for the mountains and for the challenge of stepping on top of the highest point in Africa. I knew I would be able to do it – with regular exercising and intensive Karate training for the past two years, I was physically ready to take the challenge. But maybe not with swine flu. I lied awake in bed past midnight, entire body aching with fever. At one point I got up and called the nurse line, asking what I could possibly do at that point. Not much, I was told. As a student, I would not be able to afford such a climb if I missed this one. I must get onto that flight. All I was able to do was to crawl back into my bed and hope that the fever would subside somehow.
And it did. After sweating in blankets for another five hours, the fever was gone and I was back to my normal temperature. Several hours later I was sitting on the flight to Amsterdam, then Kilimanjaro. Excitement surrounded me. ”Uhuru peak, here I come!” I silently yelled in my heart.
But I wasn’t able to reach the Uhuru peak in the end. On the summit night, the altitude sickness struck me. After I managed to reach Gilman’s point (18,638 ft), the next 980 feet of climb became extremely difficult. I puked every five minutes or so on my way up, my body shook vigorously due to the lack of oxygen, and the fever came back. Finally I had to give up, not knowing how much further the peak was away. My guide dragged me back down to the camp site and helped me lie down in my tent.
I cried in my tent. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I failed. I was so close! I couldn’t afford a trip to Kilimanjaro again anytime soon to prove to myself that I could do this. I had to swallow this failure. That’s why two months later, when colleagues in Microsoft Shanghai office planned to hike the Everest Base Camp in Nepal, I signed up immediately. The Base Camp is not as high as the peak of Africa, but I wanted to show to myself that I could pick up from where I fell and succeed this time. When I finally reached the top of Kala Patthar, I felt emotional but unexpectedly calm at the same time. The view was indeed breathtaking, and I was just glad that I achieved something that I set my mind to, though in a different way the second time around.
I am an expecting mother now; mountain climbing has fallen a bit out of my current focus. However, just like big mountains, life doesn’t always offer us what we want. We can fail at the least expected places. The important thing is to have the courage to face the challenge squarely, and to persist when things don’t proceed as we planned to. I now face other challenges in my life. Law school, for example, has never entered my mind during my undergraduate and graduate studies. I was only drawn to the technical challenges of software development. However, my work experience in xxx made me realize the value of licensing business model. I filed my first technical invention not long after I established myself in my team. It didn’t go very well – I didn’t accurately grasp the core value in an invention and patent. However, this experience made me want to learn more about the law. After taking some XXX courses in legal area, I’m more than determined to pursue a law degree to expand my horizon.
The air kept getting thinner around me. Breathing was more difficult. I could hear myself panting with each step I took. This was a familiar feeling. With my heart busy pumping blood into my vessels, I felt more determined than ever to reach the peak of this black rock.
The Everest Base Camp in Nepal is at an altitude of 17,598 ft, but I was trying to reach a higher point. Kala Patthar, commonly called “the black rock” in Nepali and Hindi, is located 18,514 ft above sea level. I wasn’t there just for the astounding sunset view of the himalayan mountains. I was there to prove myself, that I was capable of reaching the summit of a high mountain.
That was October 2009. Two months before that, I was taken down by swine flu right before my Kilimanjaro summit. I was not a mountain climber; I was just a regular graduate student sitting in a computer lab most of the time. I booked the trek using money that I earned from Google Summer of Code project, out of the love for the mountains and for the challenge of stepping on top of the highest point in Africa. I knew I would be able to do it – with regular exercising and intensive Karate training for the past two years, I was physically ready to take the challenge. But maybe not with swine flu. I lied awake in bed past midnight, entire body aching with fever. At one point I got up and called the nurse line, asking what I could possibly do at that point. Not much, I was told. As a student, I would not be able to afford such a climb if I missed this one. I must get onto that flight. All I was able to do was to crawl back into my bed and hope that the fever would subside somehow.
And it did. After sweating in blankets for another five hours, the fever was gone and I was back to my normal temperature. Several hours later I was sitting on the flight to Amsterdam, then Kilimanjaro. Excitement surrounded me. ”Uhuru peak, here I come!” I silently yelled in my heart.
But I wasn’t able to reach the Uhuru peak in the end. On the summit night, the altitude sickness struck me. After I managed to reach Gilman’s point (18,638 ft), the next 980 feet of climb became extremely difficult. I puked every five minutes or so on my way up, my body shook vigorously due to the lack of oxygen, and the fever came back. Finally I had to give up, not knowing how much further the peak was away. My guide dragged me back down to the camp site and helped me lie down in my tent.
I cried in my tent. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I failed. I was so close! I couldn’t afford a trip to Kilimanjaro again anytime soon to prove to myself that I could do this. I had to swallow this failure. That’s why two months later, when colleagues in Microsoft Shanghai office planned to hike the Everest Base Camp in Nepal, I signed up immediately. The Base Camp is not as high as the peak of Africa, but I wanted to show to myself that I could pick up from where I fell and succeed this time. When I finally reached the top of Kala Patthar, I felt emotional but unexpectedly calm at the same time. The view was indeed breathtaking, and I was just glad that I achieved something that I set my mind to, though in a different way the second time around.
I am an expecting mother now; mountain climbing has fallen a bit out of my current focus. However, just like big mountains, life doesn’t always offer us what we want. We can fail at the least expected places. The important thing is to have the courage to face the challenge squarely, and to persist when things don’t proceed as we planned to. I now face other challenges in my life. Law school, for example, has never entered my mind during my undergraduate and graduate studies. I was only drawn to the technical challenges of software development. However, my work experience in xxx made me realize the value of licensing business model. I filed my first technical invention not long after I established myself in my team. It didn’t go very well – I didn’t accurately grasp the core value in an invention and patent. However, this experience made me want to learn more about the law. After taking some XXX courses in legal area, I’m more than determined to pursue a law degree to expand my horizon.