I started from scratch again... care to critique? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Ramius]

I'm sorry to say I didn't love the topic of this PS. You did manage to hit on an incredibly relevant topic in law school admissions, but given your goals (presumably getting into law school), you speak much louder to an issue than to your cause. I can't speak with authority about what an ADCOMM wants to see, but as I pretend to be an ADCOMM, I can say I don't want to see anything about how issues affecting my admission decisions are affected. To be frank, I don't care what you think about AA unless you have something that is directly relevant to it. you studied it? Great. What does that tell me about you?

The fact is that you picked a topic that may or may not be relevant to you because you thought it would strike a chord with the people reading it. Until you can prove that it shows something about you as an applicant, it seems like mindless pandering. That is not somewhere you want to be.

My advice to you: think long and hard about YOU. Figure out who you want the ADCOMM to see. Once you figure out the image you want to portray, portray it. It's really hard to figure out, but once you do, it's really easy to do.

[Anonymous User]

Hmm... I really thought that this would tell the admissions committees who I was. I guess that didn't come through very well.

[rinkrat19]

So this is two paragraphs of a dissertation, one paragraph of you reacting to your dissertation research, and two paragraphs that kind of start to be a PS but also might just be part of an opinion piece on your dissertation topic.

It's not personal enough, like the above person said. That's not to say it's not interesting or well-written (it is both), but it's not an essay introducing yourself to the adcomms.