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This could work, but you're already bordering on unacceptable territory: deriving your statement from experiences that accentuate naïveté. If you can take this intro and drive it toward a larger point that shows maturity and real, thought-provoking growth, it'll work well for you. If not, it'll work entirely against you and your PS will be a complete failure.

I realize my response is completely open-ended, but that's the point: only you decide if this intro will work. Post the whole thing and people can tell you if this topic works. Just realize you're treading in dangerous territory.