Top Law Schools

Sorry, I'm shy.

I think the beginning is not as personal as I think it should be. It kind of reads like " I met a law student, he showed me some cool stuff he did, I though it would be cool for me" .... actually I would reconsider even keeping that whole paragraph all together.

I think it would be better for focus on your experience in the army because part that starts with the Defense Language Institute is the most captivating

I would leave out the mention of the LSAT and saying the Army recruiters "got really excited..."

I am also still left asking " Why does he want to go to law school, besides the fact that his friend showed him a cool case..."

Summary: Keep and flush out the Army aspect because it is a really interesting aspect of you as a person (maybe focusing on a specific incident or event or something) and relate that to why you would like a law degree

hope that's helpful

It was very helpful, thank you. I rewrote almost the whole thing.