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Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 1:13 pm
by Anonymous User
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Re: First draft - any suggestions greatly appreciated
Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:21 pm
by jselson
If you want anyone to get past the first sentence, you need to change it immediately. You sound like James and the Giant Peach. (No offense, just being honest.)
Re: First draft - any suggestions greatly appreciated
Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:29 pm
by Anonymous User
Appreciate the honesty, got rid of the first couple of sentences. Slow day at work and I have been playing around with alot of ideas.