Just got done with my PS, Please take a look. Easy read.
Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:28 am
This should be an easy read for almost anyone.
I am willing to re-write if needed.
I just need many feedbacks, what to reinforce or what to take out etc...
Thanks you in advance!
A gentle touch from my mother woke me up from my sleep. “Your food is getting cold!” had been my mother’s usual morning call during my elementary years while living in my hometown of Daegu, South Korea. But it was different that day. As I pulled the blanket over my head, she sat down on the edge of my bed, brushing my hair with her hands as if she had something to tell me. I jutted out my right hand from the blanket and waved vigorously to indicate that I did not want breakfast. She calmly yet firmly held my hand. What she said to me that morning was, “Do you want to study in America?” Blindly leaning on my parents’ decisions, I replied, “Do you want me to?”
Walking down the street of apartments, I found a group of elementary school children and their parents waiting in a line. My guardian pointed and said, “That is the line for your school bus.” I froze for a second, not knowing what I was going to say to them. I did not want to be alone for my first day at an American school, so I mustered up my courage and approached a chubby, black-haired kid—a kid who shared the most in common with me. With my broken English I asked, “Hello, how are you?” He frowned and stepped closer to his mom. “Uh, what’s up?” he stammered in reply. What was up? The sky. Confused, I looked up and searched for something other than the sky. But when I looked down, the kid was already filing into the bus along with the others. Parents were waving goodbye to their children who had found their friends on the bus. I sat in an empty row, knowing my parents were not outside to wave bye to. I was uneasy knowing that they were not here next to me, but all the way across the Pacific Ocean sending money to my guardian, so that I could receive an American education. Partly out of jealousy, I asked myself, “What difference would there be if my parents were outside, waving at me right now?” I realized, thinking about something I could not change was a complete waste of time. I scanned my surroundings and found the chubby kid again. Grabbing my backpack, I rushed over to him and asked, “What did you mean by ‘What’s up?’” I didn’t know where the conversation was going before, and I didn’t like that. I no longer wanted to sit in the passenger seat of my life, but instead in the driver’s seat. My parents had driven my life the way they wanted to, but from then on I decided that they no longer had direct control of where my life was heading. I thought I could handle sitting in the driver’s seat, even at the young age of 13.
A rough but short detour of my life began on February 6, 2011. I was on my way to celebrate my 22nd birthday in downtown Los Angeles. I received a call from my friend on my way saying, “Don’t come out if you aren’t ready!” As excited as I was, I coolly replied, “Too late.” This was where it all started. My friends and I partied and drank as if there were no tomorrow. I had been legally drinking for a year, and I thought I could handle my alcohol. At 4 AM, after trying to sober up for a little bit, my friends and I stumbled out of the bar a friend slapped me on the back and asked, “You’re sober right?” “Yea man, I can handle this,” I replied, while smirking. The night--or the morning, I should say--ended with a round of happy birthday punches and handshakes.
I slipped into the driver’s seat and headed home. As soon as I entered the freeway, I loosened up: there was no traffic, no cars, and no one to pay attention to. It was just the five-lane road and me. Under my impaired judgment, I kept driving. I suddenly felt fatigued, and my grip slipped. I found my car drifting a little to the left, so I firmly gripped my wheel again, but two seconds later, I found myself drifting off again. As I opened the window for some fresh air, I saw a flickering of red and blue lights. Was I seeing things? I pulled over to the right-most lane, and waited. My mind went blank, and I thought to myself that this couldn’t be real. What happened next was the worst event of my life so far. I finally faced the dire consequences of irresponsibly taking the driver’s seat of my car and of my own life. In retrospect, that was exactly what I needed: a wakeup call.
I believe everything happens for a reason. Niccolo Machiavelli once wrote in his book, The Prince, these wise words: “One change always leaves the way prepared for the introduction of another.” As a young, ignorant child back in the days of my elementary school, I thought my judgments and choices were the only things that I should take into consideration.
After this incident, I have gotten closer with my lawyer. We talked about what made him the lawyer that he is today. He told me he felt most happy when he was appreciated by his clients for taking the client’s case as if it were his own.
I do not think this incident to be hindering my path of career. but from this foundation, I learned the hard way that to respect others’ choices by making the right choice of my own. I thank my lawyer for allowing me to see the world in a new perspective. As he has touched a life of an ignorant six grader, I want to make an even greater impact on someone else’s life. If my parents were to ask me if I wanted to be a lawyer, looking back at my elementary years and my undergraduate years, the answer is no longer “Do you want me to?” but instead “I want to be.”
I am willing to re-write if needed.
I just need many feedbacks, what to reinforce or what to take out etc...
Thanks you in advance!
A gentle touch from my mother woke me up from my sleep. “Your food is getting cold!” had been my mother’s usual morning call during my elementary years while living in my hometown of Daegu, South Korea. But it was different that day. As I pulled the blanket over my head, she sat down on the edge of my bed, brushing my hair with her hands as if she had something to tell me. I jutted out my right hand from the blanket and waved vigorously to indicate that I did not want breakfast. She calmly yet firmly held my hand. What she said to me that morning was, “Do you want to study in America?” Blindly leaning on my parents’ decisions, I replied, “Do you want me to?”
Walking down the street of apartments, I found a group of elementary school children and their parents waiting in a line. My guardian pointed and said, “That is the line for your school bus.” I froze for a second, not knowing what I was going to say to them. I did not want to be alone for my first day at an American school, so I mustered up my courage and approached a chubby, black-haired kid—a kid who shared the most in common with me. With my broken English I asked, “Hello, how are you?” He frowned and stepped closer to his mom. “Uh, what’s up?” he stammered in reply. What was up? The sky. Confused, I looked up and searched for something other than the sky. But when I looked down, the kid was already filing into the bus along with the others. Parents were waving goodbye to their children who had found their friends on the bus. I sat in an empty row, knowing my parents were not outside to wave bye to. I was uneasy knowing that they were not here next to me, but all the way across the Pacific Ocean sending money to my guardian, so that I could receive an American education. Partly out of jealousy, I asked myself, “What difference would there be if my parents were outside, waving at me right now?” I realized, thinking about something I could not change was a complete waste of time. I scanned my surroundings and found the chubby kid again. Grabbing my backpack, I rushed over to him and asked, “What did you mean by ‘What’s up?’” I didn’t know where the conversation was going before, and I didn’t like that. I no longer wanted to sit in the passenger seat of my life, but instead in the driver’s seat. My parents had driven my life the way they wanted to, but from then on I decided that they no longer had direct control of where my life was heading. I thought I could handle sitting in the driver’s seat, even at the young age of 13.
A rough but short detour of my life began on February 6, 2011. I was on my way to celebrate my 22nd birthday in downtown Los Angeles. I received a call from my friend on my way saying, “Don’t come out if you aren’t ready!” As excited as I was, I coolly replied, “Too late.” This was where it all started. My friends and I partied and drank as if there were no tomorrow. I had been legally drinking for a year, and I thought I could handle my alcohol. At 4 AM, after trying to sober up for a little bit, my friends and I stumbled out of the bar a friend slapped me on the back and asked, “You’re sober right?” “Yea man, I can handle this,” I replied, while smirking. The night--or the morning, I should say--ended with a round of happy birthday punches and handshakes.
I slipped into the driver’s seat and headed home. As soon as I entered the freeway, I loosened up: there was no traffic, no cars, and no one to pay attention to. It was just the five-lane road and me. Under my impaired judgment, I kept driving. I suddenly felt fatigued, and my grip slipped. I found my car drifting a little to the left, so I firmly gripped my wheel again, but two seconds later, I found myself drifting off again. As I opened the window for some fresh air, I saw a flickering of red and blue lights. Was I seeing things? I pulled over to the right-most lane, and waited. My mind went blank, and I thought to myself that this couldn’t be real. What happened next was the worst event of my life so far. I finally faced the dire consequences of irresponsibly taking the driver’s seat of my car and of my own life. In retrospect, that was exactly what I needed: a wakeup call.
I believe everything happens for a reason. Niccolo Machiavelli once wrote in his book, The Prince, these wise words: “One change always leaves the way prepared for the introduction of another.” As a young, ignorant child back in the days of my elementary school, I thought my judgments and choices were the only things that I should take into consideration.
After this incident, I have gotten closer with my lawyer. We talked about what made him the lawyer that he is today. He told me he felt most happy when he was appreciated by his clients for taking the client’s case as if it were his own.
I do not think this incident to be hindering my path of career. but from this foundation, I learned the hard way that to respect others’ choices by making the right choice of my own. I thank my lawyer for allowing me to see the world in a new perspective. As he has touched a life of an ignorant six grader, I want to make an even greater impact on someone else’s life. If my parents were to ask me if I wanted to be a lawyer, looking back at my elementary years and my undergraduate years, the answer is no longer “Do you want me to?” but instead “I want to be.”