Personal Statement/Diversity Statement? Help?
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 9:33 pm
Feel free to critique openly.
My life has been a whirlwind of chaos. I was born into a very poor and uneducated family in North Carolina. My father was a fisherman and never passed the 8th grade. My mother was the daughter of a fisherman and dropped out her senior year of high school to get married. I grew up with my grandparents acting as parents. My father was an alcoholic, did not think I was his child, and took a great deal of his anger and frustration out on my mother when I was in the house. It was better for me to be gone. My grandfather was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Although he died when I was six, I still remember the love and the lessons the taught me. I was devastated when he passed away. My mother also blamed me for his death. She told me that I pestered him to death, when he really died of cancer. That was a huge blow to me as a child.
I became detached from people because I did not want them to die. I did not make friends as easily as others and usually watched from a perspective of being on the outside. My family’s financial and criminal backgrounds (mostly alcoholic rampages and drunk driving) narrowed the choices of people that would admit to even knowing me. I was told repeatedly that I was dumb, ugly, and should marry the first person that would have me by my relatives. Instead of letting it get me down, I decided that I was switched at birth and someday I would find my real parents and I was going to make them proud.
My mother had us all baptized Mormon to try to save the family when I was eleven years old. I went to church, graduated from seminary, but somehow still never fit in. I saw this as an opportunity to get away from North Carolina and jumped on it. I became a model churchgoer. I knew my scriptures, I went to social functions, even though I mostly watched others, I applied at Ricks College, now BYU-Idaho. I was just as shocked as everyone else was when I got in, but I went. I was shocked even more when I got there. I had lived my whole life in a small community. We had nearly 14 towns that went to my high school. I was suddenly in what I thought was a big city of 25,000 people. I loved being there but hated the restrictive lifestyle and expectations of who I knew I was not. I stayed there despite my poor academic performance. Anything was better than moving home. From Rexburg, I moved to Boise, and then to Portland. My towns grew into cities and I grew into myself. I figured out that I was gay, another strike against me according to my good southern family, even though I am the most conservative lesbian I have ever met.
Since I was the official black sheep of the family, I got no support for college or living. I took entry-level retail jobs and when I got bored, I would look for another field to work in. I continued this for years and then was tired of entry-level work and decided to go back to college. It was easier than I remembered but I had no idea what I wanted to do. I fell in love with the likes of Shakespeare and Einstein but was neither the writer nor physics type. I sought the advice of trusted friends and advisers. I was given lots of advice on what everyone thought I should do. Thinking others might know more than I did, I pursued those fields. I again found myself not fitting in. I finally decided enough was enough and just to get a degree. I found that I was smarter than my relatives were and in the process found my strength and courage in being who I am. I love me. My family is adjusting to who I am. I refuse to give an inch. I am blunt, to the point, and use all sorts of logic they do not understand. It makes me happy to know that I have a great future as an attorney, what I feel I was destined to be.
My life has been a whirlwind of chaos. I was born into a very poor and uneducated family in North Carolina. My father was a fisherman and never passed the 8th grade. My mother was the daughter of a fisherman and dropped out her senior year of high school to get married. I grew up with my grandparents acting as parents. My father was an alcoholic, did not think I was his child, and took a great deal of his anger and frustration out on my mother when I was in the house. It was better for me to be gone. My grandfather was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Although he died when I was six, I still remember the love and the lessons the taught me. I was devastated when he passed away. My mother also blamed me for his death. She told me that I pestered him to death, when he really died of cancer. That was a huge blow to me as a child.
I became detached from people because I did not want them to die. I did not make friends as easily as others and usually watched from a perspective of being on the outside. My family’s financial and criminal backgrounds (mostly alcoholic rampages and drunk driving) narrowed the choices of people that would admit to even knowing me. I was told repeatedly that I was dumb, ugly, and should marry the first person that would have me by my relatives. Instead of letting it get me down, I decided that I was switched at birth and someday I would find my real parents and I was going to make them proud.
My mother had us all baptized Mormon to try to save the family when I was eleven years old. I went to church, graduated from seminary, but somehow still never fit in. I saw this as an opportunity to get away from North Carolina and jumped on it. I became a model churchgoer. I knew my scriptures, I went to social functions, even though I mostly watched others, I applied at Ricks College, now BYU-Idaho. I was just as shocked as everyone else was when I got in, but I went. I was shocked even more when I got there. I had lived my whole life in a small community. We had nearly 14 towns that went to my high school. I was suddenly in what I thought was a big city of 25,000 people. I loved being there but hated the restrictive lifestyle and expectations of who I knew I was not. I stayed there despite my poor academic performance. Anything was better than moving home. From Rexburg, I moved to Boise, and then to Portland. My towns grew into cities and I grew into myself. I figured out that I was gay, another strike against me according to my good southern family, even though I am the most conservative lesbian I have ever met.
Since I was the official black sheep of the family, I got no support for college or living. I took entry-level retail jobs and when I got bored, I would look for another field to work in. I continued this for years and then was tired of entry-level work and decided to go back to college. It was easier than I remembered but I had no idea what I wanted to do. I fell in love with the likes of Shakespeare and Einstein but was neither the writer nor physics type. I sought the advice of trusted friends and advisers. I was given lots of advice on what everyone thought I should do. Thinking others might know more than I did, I pursued those fields. I again found myself not fitting in. I finally decided enough was enough and just to get a degree. I found that I was smarter than my relatives were and in the process found my strength and courage in being who I am. I love me. My family is adjusting to who I am. I refuse to give an inch. I am blunt, to the point, and use all sorts of logic they do not understand. It makes me happy to know that I have a great future as an attorney, what I feel I was destined to be.