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Revisiting PS
Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:13 pm
by ugobabe86
Thanks.
Re: Revisiting PS
Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:56 pm
by ugobabe86
Any feedback please!
Re: Revisiting PS
Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:38 pm
by bluepenguin
1) I think you shouldn't start in medias res on a subject that won't be your focus
2) How did Salee's story influence you in ways your own experiences didn't? (This is a pretty serious problem)
3) What's CASA?
4) Was this whole experience during school, or afterwards, or what? "Court appointed advocate?" What's that? Like a social worker?
5) Lots of writing issues, particularly sentence fragments. (Yeah, I know that's a sentence fragment).
6) I think the underlying structure is good, though.
7) Are you an international student?
Re: Revisiting PS
Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:13 pm
by ugobabe86
Thank you!!!