C & F Addendum Critique Forum
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Tdawg
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2012 6:38 am
C & F Addendum Critique
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Last edited by Tdawg on Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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rinkrat19
- Posts: 13922
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am
Re: C & F Addendum Critique
Too much drama. (I'm not saying the situation wasn't dramatic; I'm saying your addendum shouldn't be.)
Try something more like:
During my first two(?) years at XXXX University, I suffered from debilitating depression, partially due to my father's death. I sought treatment from a general practitioner and was prescribed several medications, but these actually exacerbated my condition, resulting in a 0.73 GPA. I was placed on academic probation by xxxxxx University. During the winter mini-term of 2006, I took a class at xxxxxx College, received an F, and was placed on academic probation at this institution. The following semester I was placed on academic suspension by xxxxxx University. I left school and returned home to seek further help and establish a more healthy routine. Professional counseling and reunion with my family, from whom I had isolated myself for several years, gradually helped me establish a healthy routine. I re-entered YYYYY School and my grades gradually improved. My GPA since the fall of 2009 is 3.74, which I believe is more indicative of my true abilities.
Try something more like:
During my first two(?) years at XXXX University, I suffered from debilitating depression, partially due to my father's death. I sought treatment from a general practitioner and was prescribed several medications, but these actually exacerbated my condition, resulting in a 0.73 GPA. I was placed on academic probation by xxxxxx University. During the winter mini-term of 2006, I took a class at xxxxxx College, received an F, and was placed on academic probation at this institution. The following semester I was placed on academic suspension by xxxxxx University. I left school and returned home to seek further help and establish a more healthy routine. Professional counseling and reunion with my family, from whom I had isolated myself for several years, gradually helped me establish a healthy routine. I re-entered YYYYY School and my grades gradually improved. My GPA since the fall of 2009 is 3.74, which I believe is more indicative of my true abilities.
