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Really rough first draft - please edit and critique
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:40 pm
by JP5701
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Re: Really rough first draft - please edit and critique
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:06 pm
by bluepenguin
Where are you applying?
Re: Really rough first draft - please edit and critique
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:15 pm
by patienunderstanding
IMO delete all the school stuff that You have towards the end, add some description how you felt when the violence and fighting was taking place and you have a well-written diversity statement. That's just my opinion.