Page 1 of 1
First draft of PS, please help!
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:11 pm
by lawschool4
Please feel free to critique the shit out of my PS
Re: First draft of PS, please help!
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:47 pm
by eleemosynary2
Wow. First of all, I am sorry for your loss.
A minor point for now - don't use that quote. It makes it sound like your vision of lawyering is about lying, which I doubt is true. Also, don't use any quote at all for this essay - best to end with your own reflection or determined statement.
Re: First draft of PS, please help!
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:27 am
by lawschool4
Thank you for your help!
Re: First draft of PS, please help!
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:54 pm
by basketball law guy
First of all- really sorry for your loss.
Second of all- I love the story and I think it has the potential to be a very good PS> I don't have time to elaborate but proofread and shorten some of your sentences. Some of them are too long and cumbersome. Good luck- wish I had time to elaborate.