How would you rate this?
Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:07 pm
“_________, you need to keep your chin down and stop crossing your feet!” I was in the ring with a golden gloves boxer, and while I was caught on the ropes just moments before, he had stung me with a strong right uppercut followed by a left hook, knocking me out. I woke with a pounding headache, a directive to my chin and feet, and the lights intensified everything. I saw dried blood on my chest, felt every eye on me, and tasted sweat pouring down my face.
After that incident, completely disheartened, I was fearful to step in the ring again. The following weeks were comprised of endless shadow boxing with a tennis ball under my chin, bobbing and weaving exercises, as well as footwork drills. I never wanted to experience a knockout again.
After training, I mustered up the courage to get back in the ring with the same fighter. From bell to bell, all three rounds, I held my ground and even caught him one time with a strong one-two that put him on the canvas. I was bloodied, but I was on my feet and proud to have pushed through it. I lost the fight, this time by decision. To me, it wasn’t all about the victory; I wanted to show myself what I could achieve when forced to sink or swim.
I grew up in a Philadelphia suburb with my mother, while my father lived just down the street. We weren’t particularly wealthy, but we were comfortable with what we had. As an adolescent, I was rarely given what I wanted. My parents made me work for everything and, for that lesson I am forever indebted to them. Friends repeatedly remarked, “________, your parents are so hard on you”, and they were right. They were hard on me, even mean at times, but they developed a man, and today I am grateful.
Until college, I had little regard for grades. While employed at a restaurant in high school, I realized that I didn’t want to become like my co-workers, who had dropped out of school because they had little regard for their education. As I was departing for college in Florida they would say,“ See you back here in a few weeks”. Except for my own parents, no one truly believed I would be where I am today. It was especially hard for myself to do so, because I had never really thought of myself as intelligent. I was confused, unsure of what I was going to do simply because I had never really applied myself to the best of my ability or proved I was capable of maintaining goal oriented focus. I wanted to be a successful and prosperous individual, but was uncertain on how to do so.
The day I left for college my parents told me something I would not forget. Standing on the platform of the train station they told me, “__________, we’ve never been on you about your grades, not because we don’t want to see you succeed, but more importantly, we want you to have your own desire to succeed.” All my life they have given me the freedom to decide for myself what it is I want to do and have supported me whole-heartedly in whatever it was. It was my opportunity to fulfill my goals and their desires simultaneously. Of course, there have been hardships and there have been failures, but it is now I realize that these have acted as stepping-stones to my success.
Beginning my first semester of college, I was terrified. Like stepping into the boxing ring again, I knew this was a fresh start and an opportunity to prove my success to everyone and more importantly, to prove it to myself. I adapted well and, after my first year of college, I even sent a copy of my transcripts to my previous place of employment, leaving them awestruck. Though it seems relatively small, it was a huge accomplishment to me. I knew then that I had found my true self.
On top of being a full time student, I work 25 to 30 hours a week in order to pay for my basic needs. Though this is quite difficult to juggle with schoolwork, it has led me to appreciate things to a much greater degree. It’s much more rewarding to know that I have pushed myself that much harder and still make the grades. Working has greatly aided in my ability to multi-task, demonstrating that no task is beneath me. Working with a diverse group of individuals has taught me to effectively relate to people from different backgrounds, in which I have learned how to deal with people efficiently, to learn from the success of others, and to make decisions under pressure. Although these skills did not come easy it was imperative to becoming a leader, and avoid getting stuck on the ropes again.
My experiences show the perseverance, maturity, and ability to succeed in law school. I look forward to the challenge knowing that how one tackles the journey is often as important as achieving the goal. It is quite the paradox, the idea that often the most arduous, most challenging tasks that put us at our worst mold us into our best. I have come to realize that it is not the grades, the accomplishments, or the goals I have conquered, but myself that I have conquered. These attributes gained from my experiences equip me with the necessary skills, desire, and commitment to succeed in law school. I have been made aware that law school is a grueling challenge, however my life has prepared me to roll with the punches.
After that incident, completely disheartened, I was fearful to step in the ring again. The following weeks were comprised of endless shadow boxing with a tennis ball under my chin, bobbing and weaving exercises, as well as footwork drills. I never wanted to experience a knockout again.
After training, I mustered up the courage to get back in the ring with the same fighter. From bell to bell, all three rounds, I held my ground and even caught him one time with a strong one-two that put him on the canvas. I was bloodied, but I was on my feet and proud to have pushed through it. I lost the fight, this time by decision. To me, it wasn’t all about the victory; I wanted to show myself what I could achieve when forced to sink or swim.
I grew up in a Philadelphia suburb with my mother, while my father lived just down the street. We weren’t particularly wealthy, but we were comfortable with what we had. As an adolescent, I was rarely given what I wanted. My parents made me work for everything and, for that lesson I am forever indebted to them. Friends repeatedly remarked, “________, your parents are so hard on you”, and they were right. They were hard on me, even mean at times, but they developed a man, and today I am grateful.
Until college, I had little regard for grades. While employed at a restaurant in high school, I realized that I didn’t want to become like my co-workers, who had dropped out of school because they had little regard for their education. As I was departing for college in Florida they would say,“ See you back here in a few weeks”. Except for my own parents, no one truly believed I would be where I am today. It was especially hard for myself to do so, because I had never really thought of myself as intelligent. I was confused, unsure of what I was going to do simply because I had never really applied myself to the best of my ability or proved I was capable of maintaining goal oriented focus. I wanted to be a successful and prosperous individual, but was uncertain on how to do so.
The day I left for college my parents told me something I would not forget. Standing on the platform of the train station they told me, “__________, we’ve never been on you about your grades, not because we don’t want to see you succeed, but more importantly, we want you to have your own desire to succeed.” All my life they have given me the freedom to decide for myself what it is I want to do and have supported me whole-heartedly in whatever it was. It was my opportunity to fulfill my goals and their desires simultaneously. Of course, there have been hardships and there have been failures, but it is now I realize that these have acted as stepping-stones to my success.
Beginning my first semester of college, I was terrified. Like stepping into the boxing ring again, I knew this was a fresh start and an opportunity to prove my success to everyone and more importantly, to prove it to myself. I adapted well and, after my first year of college, I even sent a copy of my transcripts to my previous place of employment, leaving them awestruck. Though it seems relatively small, it was a huge accomplishment to me. I knew then that I had found my true self.
On top of being a full time student, I work 25 to 30 hours a week in order to pay for my basic needs. Though this is quite difficult to juggle with schoolwork, it has led me to appreciate things to a much greater degree. It’s much more rewarding to know that I have pushed myself that much harder and still make the grades. Working has greatly aided in my ability to multi-task, demonstrating that no task is beneath me. Working with a diverse group of individuals has taught me to effectively relate to people from different backgrounds, in which I have learned how to deal with people efficiently, to learn from the success of others, and to make decisions under pressure. Although these skills did not come easy it was imperative to becoming a leader, and avoid getting stuck on the ropes again.
My experiences show the perseverance, maturity, and ability to succeed in law school. I look forward to the challenge knowing that how one tackles the journey is often as important as achieving the goal. It is quite the paradox, the idea that often the most arduous, most challenging tasks that put us at our worst mold us into our best. I have come to realize that it is not the grades, the accomplishments, or the goals I have conquered, but myself that I have conquered. These attributes gained from my experiences equip me with the necessary skills, desire, and commitment to succeed in law school. I have been made aware that law school is a grueling challenge, however my life has prepared me to roll with the punches.
. I think you main problem in the style department is your tenses. They jump all over the place, so be careful. With regards to your story, paragraphs 1 and 2 don't properly connect with the rest yet. Also in the telling of your life the chronology doesn't flow as well as it should. Hope this helps 