Page 1 of 1
PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:21 pm
by desiballa21
Is this generally a no-no? Re-reading it and the situation seems a bit contrived though it actually did happen. Best to go in another direction, maybe? Thoughts?
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:23 pm
by rinkrat19
Can't tell without reading it, but a lot of times people try to put TOO much emotion into their PSes, particularly the intros, and they end up sounding very pearl-clutchingly, hand-wringingly dramatic. It may be that the event is fine but your language is over the top.
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:27 pm
by desiballa21
Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:31 pm
by rinkrat19
desiballa21 wrote:Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?
Sure.
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:05 pm
by eyescream
I don't mind taking a look at it. Feel free to shoot me a PM, too.
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:10 pm
by desiballa21
PM'd. thanks.