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First PS draft. Far from perfect. Seeking a little guidance!

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 2:32 am
by ohwhereohwhere
I talked out a few topics with a friend, and I determined that this particular story - a brain surgery I had that lead me away from the USAF and into college was the best thing to write about. This is my first draft of it.

-As a note, the Congressman I talk about also went to Law School at one of the school's I'm applying to. For that particular school, should I change that as to not make it look like "Hey, this person went here. I worked for this person. So, you should let me go here, too." ? I don't want to look like I'm trying to suck up or something.

EDIT: Instead of slamming the entire thing here, would it be easier to just PM a link to people?

Please let me know if you're willing to take a look. I'll PM you.

Re: First PS draft. Far from perfect. Seeking a little guidance!

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:41 pm
by CorkBoard
ohwhereohwhere wrote: EDIT: Instead of slamming the entire thing here, would it be easier to just PM a link to people?
No.

Re: First PS draft. Far from perfect. Seeking a little guidance!

Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 6:42 pm
by Br3v
ohwhereohwhere wrote:I talked out a few topics with a friend, and I determined that this particular story - a brain surgery I had that lead me away from the USAF and into college was the best thing to write about. This is my first draft of it.

-As a note, the Congressman I talk about also went to Law School at one of the school's I'm applying to. For that particular school, should I change that as to not make it look like "Hey, this person went here. I worked for this person. So, you should let me go here, too." ? I don't want to look like I'm trying to suck up or something.

EDIT: Instead of slamming the entire thing here, would it be easier to just PM a link to people?

Please let me know if you're willing to take a look. I'll PM you.
I dont think it would be to bad if you mentioned that about the congressmen in passing like "by luck would have it he also went to X" or something