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Rough DS: Critique/Advice needed!

Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:18 am
by Ramsey
I'm also submitting a 350-word addendum and 4th LOR, so I'm trying to keep this as short as possible. I'm worried if I've omitted too much details in the process - or should I sieve it further? Polishing is definitely needed but at this stage of writing I'm more concerned with the overall direction and structure.

Any advice/critique/suggestion is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Re: Rough DS: Critique/Advice needed!

Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:40 pm
by nowayout
Interesting material. Long sentences and loose structure.
Rewrite.