revised PS, be a boss and tell me how it is Forum
- szb5058
- Posts: 98
- Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 4:33 pm
revised PS, be a boss and tell me how it is
deleted.
Last edited by szb5058 on Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Spritzpiggy
- Posts: 229
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:57 am
Re: revised PS, be a boss and tell me how it is
I read your original as well. This is a million times better
There are some strange parts though - he stands up for his country because he's... Built well? Im sure his motivations were more than just a strong arm and quick mind. Theres some strange stuff like that, but all in all this is a mich better ps than the original. I love the intro
There are some strange parts though - he stands up for his country because he's... Built well? Im sure his motivations were more than just a strong arm and quick mind. Theres some strange stuff like that, but all in all this is a mich better ps than the original. I love the intro
- inthebeginning
- Posts: 90
- Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:34 am
Re: revised PS, be a boss and tell me how it is
think this is great, just lose the last sentence.