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kwais wrote:Arts and Crafts? Egg Scanning? Donating supplies?
I never call flame, but this one is super fishy.

If real, OP, start over, dig on this site and elsewhere for good examples of personal statements. Choose one or two of these experiences you've had and flesh them out with examples. At the moment, this is the poster PS for "telling" as opposed to "showing"

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

bmore wrote:This is not a personal statement.

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

FYI it is

CanadianWolf wrote:OP: You need to develop a clear theme that is reflected in your opening sentence.

CONSIDER as an opening line: My education and work experience suggest that a JD/MBA dual degree program is the appropriate path to success.

A simple, straightforward opening sentence should let readers know the direction of the rest of your essay. It should also help you to present your message in an organized fashion.

Try to write in crisp, clear sentences. Avoid lengthy sentences.

The most basic approach utilizes a five (5) paragraph structure. The opening paragraph tells the reader that you're going to cover A, B, & C in your writing. Paragraph 2 deals with "A"; paragraph 3 covers "B"; while paragraph 4 addresses point "C". The concluding paragraph concisely restates your entire message.

bmore wrote:

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

FYI it is

No way!

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

FYI it is

InGoodFaith wrote:

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

FYI it is

I couldn't even get through this "personal statement" because of how bad the grammar is, not to even mention the subject matter. You need to take a few remedial English classes.

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:

pgzc wrote:

InGoodFaith wrote:English isn't your first language, is it?

FYI it is

I couldn't even get through this "personal statement" because of how bad the grammar is, not to even mention the subject matter. You need to take a few remedial English classes.

no relation between i need to refresh my grammar with i dont know english

kwais wrote:flame

pgzc wrote:im sorry to disappoint you but i wouldnt be writting if i didnt know how to do both

pgzc wrote:Since I was little, I have always had a naturally driven duty to protect was so dear to me and of the others who deserved justice from the atrocities in this world caused by those who are irresponsible. Leadership, discipline, resilience, innovation, creativity, capability of being organized, of being a truthful and being an ethical person are skills that are present in my character. I have participated in charitable activities such as donating supplies and money to different institutions like Hogar Del Niño and Casa de Todos; orientating freshmen to feeling comfortable in their new college life at Estudiantes Orientadores; and giving seminars and tutories in college, school and at work. My job experiences have been in many industries: post marketing analysis of dealer sales performance and administrative work in Toyota Financial Services and Nissan; scanning at Ochoa Poultry Farms (egg distributor); general assistant of T & P Realty (rental government subsidized homes); file clerk and receptionist at Zaragoza & Alvarado (a tax firm); and auditing a provider of tutories for the program “No Child Left Behind” in an agreed upon procedure. As seen, my philosophy is that nothing is impossible if you set your mind to achieve it. I think outside the box, to be able to do all plus do well at college classes and have time for arts & crafts. I can contribute with fresh new ideas, solutions and also learn from areas like environmental law, since many of my college projects have been on the subject such as: recommending and analyzing different energy alternatives in hope to solve the current energy crisis in Puerto Rico; how can companies implement the use green accounting; and market eco-friendly products. This is why my consideration and acceptance for Law School and Masters in Human Resource will be much appreciated.

CorkBoard wrote:

pgzc wrote:im sorry to disappoint you but i wouldnt be writting if i didnt know how to do both

pgzc wrote:Since I was little, I have always had a naturally driven duty to protect was so dear to me and of the others who deserved justice from the atrocities in this world caused by those who are irresponsible. Leadership, discipline, resilience, innovation, creativity, capability of being organized, of being a truthful and being an ethical person are skills that are present in my character. I have participated in charitable activities such as donating supplies and money to different institutions like Hogar Del Niño and Casa de Todos; orientating freshmen to feeling comfortable in their new college life at Estudiantes Orientadores; and giving seminars and tutories in college, school and at work. My job experiences have been in many industries: post marketing analysis of dealer sales performance and administrative work in Toyota Financial Services and Nissan; scanning at Ochoa Poultry Farms (egg distributor); general assistant of T & P Realty (rental government subsidized homes); file clerk and receptionist at Zaragoza & Alvarado (a tax firm); and auditing a provider of tutories for the program “No Child Left Behind” in an agreed upon procedure. As seen, my philosophy is that nothing is impossible if you set your mind to achieve it. I think outside the box, to be able to do all plus do well at college classes and have time for arts & crafts. I can contribute with fresh new ideas, solutions and also learn from areas like environmental law, since many of my college projects have been on the subject such as: recommending and analyzing different energy alternatives in hope to solve the current energy crisis in Puerto Rico; how can companies implement the use green accounting; and market eco-friendly products. This is why my consideration and acceptance for Law School and Masters in Human Resource will be much appreciated.

You sure about that?

amycompton wrote:If real,start over, dig on this site and elsewhere for good examples of personal statements. Choose one or two of these experiences you've had and flesh them out with examples. At the moment, this is the poster PS for "telling" as opposed to "showing".

pgzc wrote:

amycompton wrote:If real,start over, dig on this site and elsewhere for good examples of personal statements. Choose one or two of these experiences you've had and flesh them out with examples. At the moment, this is the poster PS for "telling" as opposed to "showing".

ok fair enough but let this be clear to you all that its ok for you to not believe anything in my personal statement, apparently no body ever does believe the truth