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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:34 pm
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I personally don't like it. It just sounds kind of dull. All lawyers take a lot of money from their clients, but unless the lawyer did something that significantly affected your life, I wouldn't write about. And I think the "I want to help people and not cheat them" theme is overplayed
I would write something more about you. Something that affected your life, a learning experience, something that shows your character.