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I got as far as "quidditch" before I stopped.

No. Just because it's "interesting" doesn't mean it's a good topic for your PS.

No. Do not use this PS as is.


Here's why:

1). You focus too much on quidditch and not enough on you.

2). It doesn't come across as mature and law schools want mature applicants.

3). You have two parts to your story. You have the story and then you have the explanation of ways you grew. Highly effective PSs integrate this information into one fluid piece. Yours shouldn't be so divided. Try to make sure that with the story you are showing us how these things have shaped you, don't just tell us in a few brief sentences at the end.

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I read the whole thing because I was dying to know what Quidditch could possibly have to do with being a law student.

First I had to google what it was as I would imaging more than a few AdComm types might as well.

To be honest, It turned out better that I thought it could but, and there is always a but, I am not sure I would use the subject.

What I got out of the PS is that you are more than idea man but can and do follow through. Following through shows traits that would be useful at law school and beyond.

On the flip side I spent most of the PS wondering why on earth you would spend your talent on such a thing. How could this possibly help the community at large? It seemed like a giant waste. Now, you had a few lines at the end explaining how it helps the youth but it may have been too late. If you really want to use the subject I would try and explain the benefits to the community towards the front so that the reader is not wondering while they are reading.

JC

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vasa let me take a look brah.