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TLS attention whore of the year needs your help! UPDATED 2/9
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:19 pm
by JDndMSW
Thanks <3
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:22 pm
by Lincoln
I stopped reading after...
JDndMSW wrote:As a sat . . .
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:24 pm
by JDndMSW
Lincoln wrote:I stopped reading after...
JDndMSW wrote:As a sat . . .
I know it's cliche as fuck I just spent FOREVER mulling that over that I just had to say fuck it and come back to it so I could actually start writing it.
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:25 pm
by Lincoln
You are correct. Typos are cliché as fuck. If you can't read it through, how do you expect anyone else to do so?
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:26 pm
by BeaverHunter
Sorry, tried to read but couldn't divert eyes from cleavage. Will read fully in exchange for racier photos.
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:31 pm
by JDndMSW
Lincoln wrote:You are correct. Typos are cliché as fuck. If you can't read it through, how do you expect anyone else to do so?
Lol wow I didn't even see that until just then, haha FAIL
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help!
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:24 pm
by kublaikahn
Start over. this is a resume regurgitation. The part about Montana and your dad should not be in there. That combined with your tar tells the reader you are needy and insecure. But I still like the tar.
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help! UPDATED 2/9
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:40 pm
by JDndMSW
BUMP for an update!
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help! UPDATED 2/9
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:52 pm
by Jante05
What I noticed on 1st Paragraph, wording & intro was awkward. "realize, realities, self-reliant..."
I think you need to start over again. It's a bit too long. Personally I would focus more about Americorps and what you did during college years.
Re: TLS attention whore of the year needs your help! UPDATED 2/9
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:02 pm
by bmore
Just in the first few sentences. How is living with dad spreading your wings? To me, not really. Your conclusion in the first para also makes no sense. You lived with dad. Punctuation and grammar need improvement. I didn;t read past para 1.