Please critique my DUI addendum....
Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 1:51 am
Hey, guys. I would appreciate your honest critique of my DUI addendum. I know it needs work, but I can't seem to find the right balance of humility and event description. I was told by my law advisor not to make a huge descriptive analysis, to just give the essentials and write how sorry I am.
Anyway, your advice is much appreciated, whether grammatically, structurally, or otherwise... it is a bit messy. Thanks.
In December of 2009, I was arrested for drunk driving in the state of Mississippi and, after pleading guilty, was convicted of DUI. I would like to briefly survey the events of that night for the admissions committee. At the end of the 2009 Fall semester, members of my school’s Philosophy Club decided to meet at a local steak house to speak about our present activities and future ambitions. During the course of our dinner together, I partook of alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, I made the decision to drive home after the club meeting was over. I was pulled over, tested, arrested, and jailed for two days, as is mandatory in the state.
The decision I made to drive under those conditions remains the worst of my life. I am very grateful to the policemen who intervened; not only did the police act to protect the public, they protected me from my own actions. I can only imagine what could have happened that night if I was able to carry on operating my vehicle under those circumstances. Thankfully, no person was injured.
My decision to drive while intoxicated maintains an incredible hold over my everyday existence. It is important to me that the admissions committee understand I recognize the damage my actions could have done. I would like to stress that in no way do I regard my DUI as an unimportant blemish on an otherwise clean criminal record. While I hope the committee views my arrest as an anomaly of character, please know that I realize the seriousness of driving under the influence of alcohol.
The decision making process of every applicant is made even more important by the fact we intend to practice our jobs in settings demanding the expression of an ethical and moral conduct representative of our society. In driving under the influence, I understand and wholly admit to the fact that I betrayed a sacred social contract. I continue to be ashamed of this betrayal, however, I also desire to carry my shame into the future in a positive manner. Being granted the ability to practice law would allow me the privilege of paying dues beyond fines and time served.
Anyway, your advice is much appreciated, whether grammatically, structurally, or otherwise... it is a bit messy. Thanks.
In December of 2009, I was arrested for drunk driving in the state of Mississippi and, after pleading guilty, was convicted of DUI. I would like to briefly survey the events of that night for the admissions committee. At the end of the 2009 Fall semester, members of my school’s Philosophy Club decided to meet at a local steak house to speak about our present activities and future ambitions. During the course of our dinner together, I partook of alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, I made the decision to drive home after the club meeting was over. I was pulled over, tested, arrested, and jailed for two days, as is mandatory in the state.
The decision I made to drive under those conditions remains the worst of my life. I am very grateful to the policemen who intervened; not only did the police act to protect the public, they protected me from my own actions. I can only imagine what could have happened that night if I was able to carry on operating my vehicle under those circumstances. Thankfully, no person was injured.
My decision to drive while intoxicated maintains an incredible hold over my everyday existence. It is important to me that the admissions committee understand I recognize the damage my actions could have done. I would like to stress that in no way do I regard my DUI as an unimportant blemish on an otherwise clean criminal record. While I hope the committee views my arrest as an anomaly of character, please know that I realize the seriousness of driving under the influence of alcohol.
The decision making process of every applicant is made even more important by the fact we intend to practice our jobs in settings demanding the expression of an ethical and moral conduct representative of our society. In driving under the influence, I understand and wholly admit to the fact that I betrayed a sacred social contract. I continue to be ashamed of this betrayal, however, I also desire to carry my shame into the future in a positive manner. Being granted the ability to practice law would allow me the privilege of paying dues beyond fines and time served.