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Revising

I really like your first two paragraphs, as far as syntax and flow, but I found myself wondering " okay...what does this have to do with why you want to go to law school?" Then, finally, in the last paragraph you reveal your motives, but it felt rushed. I don't think you dedicated enough time to why you wish to pursue law, and even more importantly, what you have gained from weightlifting that would contribute to your performance in law school. Overall, your main focus seems to be on describing powerlifting. Just IMO, I feel like this concept would be better served in a DS, but if you polish it up you can make this a very appealing PS.