final draft, submitting tmr. any reply appreciated
Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 11:49 pm
Thank you for all who helped me revise former drafts. Your critique really help me a lot esp since I am not a native speaker.
This is the final draft. I will submit tmr. Any feedback will be appreciated.
I remember the fear in the victims' eyes more than anything. As an exchange student in Tokyo, I was fortunate enough to avoid the devastation that engulfed Fukushima during the March 11th earthquake, yet it soon became apparent to me that the end of the earthquake was not the end of the crisis, but rather the beginning of a new one. With the lack of a cohesive message from the government, rumors spread quickly and panic gripped the city. By the end of the fifth day after the crisis, all planes from Tokyo to Shanghai were gone. A close friend of mine had even holed himself up in his room after reading a Twitter post detailing the extensive radiation in Tokyo that allegedly was responsible for millions of deaths.
Two weeks later, I went to the earthquake-struck area of Iwate as a volunteer where I met a middle-aged woman named Mrs. Izuhara. Despite her poor physical condition, she refused to eat the government-subsidized meal. Asked why, she told me she heard the government was using food awash with radiation for preparation of those meals. As time passed by, her health declined, which worried me enormously. Besides, she was not the only one to believe the rumor. In fact, more and more victims followed her example and began throwing away those meals. Seeing that, my teammates and I decided to make a presentation to dispel these worries. We relied exclusively on the International Atomic Energy Agency and other academic institutions, in order to screen out biased information, to obtain updated information and translate them into Japanese. However, even with reliable information, it was rather difficult to explain complicated figures and jargon to desperate victims.
At that time, I was enrolled in a seminar on law, Peace and Human Rights. Through the seminar, I learned the importance of representation and interpretation of facts as revealed by a close reading of both majority and dissenting opinions in Supreme Court decisions. Based on this knowledge, I proposed that we focus on making scientific facts interesting and understandable. On my suggestion, we tailored slides for demonstrations to different age groups, and included colored charts and vivid pictures to simplify the presentation of scientific data. Thankfully, our efforts worked. After these presentations, we were relieved to learn that the attendees were calmed and assured by what they learned and Mrs. Izuhara finally agreed to eat the subsidized meals afterwards. It filled me with pride to know that my ability to research information, assess its objectivity, and present it in an accurate yet accessible manner was of enormous use in assuaging the fears of victims.
Not long before we left, however, discontent once again arose among the victims, this time due to the lack of timely legal assistance. Regarded as the world's worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl, Fukushima nuclear crisis caused unquantified damages to local residents and businesses whose sales of products were shut down by the ambiguity of the information the government released. Many accused the Tokyo Electric Power Company of failing to take sufficient safety measures at the Fukushima plant even though it knew the risks and then deliberately underplaying the extent of the accident. They asked furiously whether they could sue the Tokyo Electric Power Company for their loss. Although these issues were far beyond our abilities, I wanted to employ my legal acumen to help these victims. I spent hours listening to their concerns and providing as much guidance as possible in examining their cases logically and objectively so that they could have clearer perspectives on their loss and the available ways to claim compensation, as well as rational expectations for future negotiation with professionals. But there was a limitation on what I could do. While the victims were grateful for my efforts to aid them in analyzing and presenting their cases, I deeply regret my inability to provide more professional help. I think that the dearth of legal professionals had taken a severe toll on Japanese society and in hindered, to a large extent, actual rebuilding in the wake of the earthquake.
After the experience, I came to realize that pursuing a legal career would provide me with the skills needed to make practical contribution to helping not only victims of natural disasters, but also ordinary people seeking justice and accountability in tragic circumstances. This and my strong interest in law inspired me to apply to law school and pursue a career as lawyer.
This is the final draft. I will submit tmr. Any feedback will be appreciated.
I remember the fear in the victims' eyes more than anything. As an exchange student in Tokyo, I was fortunate enough to avoid the devastation that engulfed Fukushima during the March 11th earthquake, yet it soon became apparent to me that the end of the earthquake was not the end of the crisis, but rather the beginning of a new one. With the lack of a cohesive message from the government, rumors spread quickly and panic gripped the city. By the end of the fifth day after the crisis, all planes from Tokyo to Shanghai were gone. A close friend of mine had even holed himself up in his room after reading a Twitter post detailing the extensive radiation in Tokyo that allegedly was responsible for millions of deaths.
Two weeks later, I went to the earthquake-struck area of Iwate as a volunteer where I met a middle-aged woman named Mrs. Izuhara. Despite her poor physical condition, she refused to eat the government-subsidized meal. Asked why, she told me she heard the government was using food awash with radiation for preparation of those meals. As time passed by, her health declined, which worried me enormously. Besides, she was not the only one to believe the rumor. In fact, more and more victims followed her example and began throwing away those meals. Seeing that, my teammates and I decided to make a presentation to dispel these worries. We relied exclusively on the International Atomic Energy Agency and other academic institutions, in order to screen out biased information, to obtain updated information and translate them into Japanese. However, even with reliable information, it was rather difficult to explain complicated figures and jargon to desperate victims.
At that time, I was enrolled in a seminar on law, Peace and Human Rights. Through the seminar, I learned the importance of representation and interpretation of facts as revealed by a close reading of both majority and dissenting opinions in Supreme Court decisions. Based on this knowledge, I proposed that we focus on making scientific facts interesting and understandable. On my suggestion, we tailored slides for demonstrations to different age groups, and included colored charts and vivid pictures to simplify the presentation of scientific data. Thankfully, our efforts worked. After these presentations, we were relieved to learn that the attendees were calmed and assured by what they learned and Mrs. Izuhara finally agreed to eat the subsidized meals afterwards. It filled me with pride to know that my ability to research information, assess its objectivity, and present it in an accurate yet accessible manner was of enormous use in assuaging the fears of victims.
Not long before we left, however, discontent once again arose among the victims, this time due to the lack of timely legal assistance. Regarded as the world's worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl, Fukushima nuclear crisis caused unquantified damages to local residents and businesses whose sales of products were shut down by the ambiguity of the information the government released. Many accused the Tokyo Electric Power Company of failing to take sufficient safety measures at the Fukushima plant even though it knew the risks and then deliberately underplaying the extent of the accident. They asked furiously whether they could sue the Tokyo Electric Power Company for their loss. Although these issues were far beyond our abilities, I wanted to employ my legal acumen to help these victims. I spent hours listening to their concerns and providing as much guidance as possible in examining their cases logically and objectively so that they could have clearer perspectives on their loss and the available ways to claim compensation, as well as rational expectations for future negotiation with professionals. But there was a limitation on what I could do. While the victims were grateful for my efforts to aid them in analyzing and presenting their cases, I deeply regret my inability to provide more professional help. I think that the dearth of legal professionals had taken a severe toll on Japanese society and in hindered, to a large extent, actual rebuilding in the wake of the earthquake.
After the experience, I came to realize that pursuing a legal career would provide me with the skills needed to make practical contribution to helping not only victims of natural disasters, but also ordinary people seeking justice and accountability in tragic circumstances. This and my strong interest in law inspired me to apply to law school and pursue a career as lawyer.