Personal Statement--Please give feedback
Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:44 pm
My personal statement is below---- not finished yet. This is still draft form. If anyone could please give feedback or any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore” –Andre Gild
Heat searing into tanned skin, humid air wet enough to quench thirst: this is Palm Beach. Growing up here, I never lost sight of the shore. Five minutes and the gritty shells were felt beneath my toes, warm water oozing beneath my feet. The frosty fizz left behind from the endless waves egging me to dive in. Yet, I never could accept what the city had to offer. While my childhood was filled with beaming, sun-filled days and damp, bug-filled nights, it was also marred by the rich and vibrant drug industry, something South Floridians know well. I never indulged, but still have trouble counting on one hand how many I knew who did. The drug chain became a part of my childhood, my teenage years and as an adult, is a part that I cannot seem to change.
In college, I decided that I wanted to become a part of that change. Perhaps my passion was renewed after my three-month journey as a camp counselor in Eustis, Florida, working with terminally ill children, one of which had the AIDS virus, contracted through her mother due to drug use. My belief that this 9 year old girl would be leading a life for years to come, had it not been for drugs, only furthered my drive. Or possibly I had never needed a renewal at all. While much of my experience rests with endless hours spent grammatically and structurally altering hundreds of research papers at the University’s Writing Center; my passion ends with a career set in the heart of the drug industry. Whereas it would seem natural that my hometown would be the epitome of my desired career, I know that I cannot discover another path without losing sight of the one that brought me to where I am now.
In becoming the Editor in Chief of the University’s Literary and Arts Magazine, my eyes were opened to students who had passionate stories expressed through numerous outlets of art. While scanning thousands of lines of text for the slightest of errors, leading juried sessions of the dismissal of works, I realized that my story is also one based out of passion. While some might view my craving for a career in law as a rejection of English and editorial work, I view it as an opportunity to discover a new ocean; one that may, in some way, make a small difference in the lives of others, much like the constant scrutiny of my pen has done to so many papers.
And so I desire to attend Samford University, Cumberland School of Law in order to leave the familiar shores of my past, and to discover the oceans of my future. I aspire to study under Professor Don Cochran of the Trial Advocacy Program, so that one day, I will be able to take part in the change that I know will make a difference.
Thanks
“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore” –Andre Gild
Heat searing into tanned skin, humid air wet enough to quench thirst: this is Palm Beach. Growing up here, I never lost sight of the shore. Five minutes and the gritty shells were felt beneath my toes, warm water oozing beneath my feet. The frosty fizz left behind from the endless waves egging me to dive in. Yet, I never could accept what the city had to offer. While my childhood was filled with beaming, sun-filled days and damp, bug-filled nights, it was also marred by the rich and vibrant drug industry, something South Floridians know well. I never indulged, but still have trouble counting on one hand how many I knew who did. The drug chain became a part of my childhood, my teenage years and as an adult, is a part that I cannot seem to change.
In college, I decided that I wanted to become a part of that change. Perhaps my passion was renewed after my three-month journey as a camp counselor in Eustis, Florida, working with terminally ill children, one of which had the AIDS virus, contracted through her mother due to drug use. My belief that this 9 year old girl would be leading a life for years to come, had it not been for drugs, only furthered my drive. Or possibly I had never needed a renewal at all. While much of my experience rests with endless hours spent grammatically and structurally altering hundreds of research papers at the University’s Writing Center; my passion ends with a career set in the heart of the drug industry. Whereas it would seem natural that my hometown would be the epitome of my desired career, I know that I cannot discover another path without losing sight of the one that brought me to where I am now.
In becoming the Editor in Chief of the University’s Literary and Arts Magazine, my eyes were opened to students who had passionate stories expressed through numerous outlets of art. While scanning thousands of lines of text for the slightest of errors, leading juried sessions of the dismissal of works, I realized that my story is also one based out of passion. While some might view my craving for a career in law as a rejection of English and editorial work, I view it as an opportunity to discover a new ocean; one that may, in some way, make a small difference in the lives of others, much like the constant scrutiny of my pen has done to so many papers.
And so I desire to attend Samford University, Cumberland School of Law in order to leave the familiar shores of my past, and to discover the oceans of my future. I aspire to study under Professor Don Cochran of the Trial Advocacy Program, so that one day, I will be able to take part in the change that I know will make a difference.