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aid statement.

I don't think you need a concluding paragraph, but you need to watch your tense shift. Don't say "graduation of undergrad." And, for some reason the phrase "I sacrificed financial security in the process" strikes me as maybe something you don't want to come right out and say. Also, consider rephrasing your comments about your mom not being able to pay for you and your sibling's tuition. It's not really her responsibility to do so as if you're all in college, you're adults and should be able to take personal responsibility for yourselves. The way it reads now, you come across as not taking responsibility, IMO. That's not something you want to do.

Best of luck!