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I've written 3 different personal statements so far. I have no idea which one to use. This is Version C which is more of a "journey" style PS. Please let me know if you think it works as a PS, especially since there are essentially three scenes. Detailed edits aren't necessary, unless you're feeling super generous. I'm more looking for an "overall" type of critique.
Thanks for your time!




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"...and because I'm only slightly removed from those I wish to help." This an effective summary of your personal statement.

Overall, your PS's content is better than the writing, in my opinion. Understandably, you do not wish to be emotional since that would pierce your protective shield that you have learned to use from a very early age.