Personal Statement second draft. Can you help me out?
Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:37 am
Concerns I have:
1. Am I too cocky?
2. Am I too dramatic?
3. Is it a good topic.
In my opinion, my adult life began the day my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Before this seemingly cataclysmic event, I was a kid. I was immature, irresponsible, and without motivation. My life had yet to find purpose or meaning. My mother’s illness was the catalyst that gave me the direction that I had previously lacked. I was suddenly forced into situations that had serious consequences, and I could no longer step aside like a child. It was under these conditions that I developed the responsibility of an adult, and the direction toward a future career in law. The story of my development begins with my father breaking the news to me over the phone.
“Ryan, your mother has a tumor in her stomach and she’s going to need surgery,” I heard coming through of the tiny cell phone speaker. It was shocking news. She seemed so healthy a week before. Now, her life was in danger. A future without my mother was an uncertain one. She was always there, acting as a safety net I could always fall back on. The thought of her loss left me feeling exposed and vulnerable. The threat of having to interrupt my education suddenly seemed very real. Luckily, my father was able to scrape together enough money to keep me in school and I had the savings to support myself otherwise. As if the new financial strain was not enough, I was continually scheduling very difficult classes at Penn State. The slate included classes in fields such as organic chemistry, physics, biology, political science, and Spanish. Never did I schedule a semester of less than 15 credits (for financial reasons of course). I was also forced to come home often. As my mother’s condition deteriorated, I was making the 3 ½ hour drive every other weekend.
Needless to say, it was difficult to succeed in conditions such as these. I learned how to cope through my work, both in school and in employment. Scholastically, my work served as a distraction from the problems I was experiencing back at home. I felt the need to validate my continued attendance at school with success. As a result, I poured my heart and soul into my schoolwork. I had never felt so satisfied by academic accomplishment in my life. I got my first taste of law education during this period of time in the form of a constitutional law class that was a requirement for my major. It focused on reviewing important Supreme Court decisions, and how they set up precedent for future cases. I enjoyed the detail that was required for me to prosper in the class. The act of poring over decisions produced the impulse that eventually motivated me to look into an education in law.
My employment was another important piece of my maturation process. Over the summer, I worked at an imaging center called Viewmont Medical Services. I was responsible for attending to patients basic needs, as well as preparing them for their procedures. My experience at Viewmont allowed me to meet a wide variety of people, some of whom I developed a relationship with. I noticed a pattern within those who were recovering from their maladies. Those who seemed to be improving had maintained an air of positivity about them. It was this positivity that got them through their tough time. It was an attitude that rubbed off on me as time went on. It kept me confident in my future, both without my mother and as a prospective law student. A positive attitude is what has kept me vigilant in seeking a career in law, despite the grim job prospects. I might not have faith in the improvement of the legal market, but I have faith in myself. I trust that I will succeed in the competitive environment that law has in store for me. Just like the patients at Viewmont, I will persevere.
My mother eventually passed away in March of 2011, only a year and a half after her diagnosis. A void has been left behind within my extended family. My mother was somewhat of a leader amongst my kin. Her tough love and strong will acted as an emotional backbone for my aunts, uncles, and grandmother. With her loss, many of my family members did not know where to turn for strength. I believe that I have been able to fill this role, providing emotional support to those who have lost their rock. Two years ago, I would not have been capable of such a role. My ability to move on with life has given my relatives a model of how to proceed. I am often asked how I have been able to adjust so quickly. My answer is always the same. I believe that setting a goal, and working toward it is the best way to deal with adversity. Every obstacle faced is only a temporary hindrance. Law school is only the next obstacle I have to climb, and I believe that the adversity I have overcome has prepared me for whatever lies in the way of my dream: a career in law.
1. Am I too cocky?
2. Am I too dramatic?
3. Is it a good topic.
In my opinion, my adult life began the day my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Before this seemingly cataclysmic event, I was a kid. I was immature, irresponsible, and without motivation. My life had yet to find purpose or meaning. My mother’s illness was the catalyst that gave me the direction that I had previously lacked. I was suddenly forced into situations that had serious consequences, and I could no longer step aside like a child. It was under these conditions that I developed the responsibility of an adult, and the direction toward a future career in law. The story of my development begins with my father breaking the news to me over the phone.
“Ryan, your mother has a tumor in her stomach and she’s going to need surgery,” I heard coming through of the tiny cell phone speaker. It was shocking news. She seemed so healthy a week before. Now, her life was in danger. A future without my mother was an uncertain one. She was always there, acting as a safety net I could always fall back on. The thought of her loss left me feeling exposed and vulnerable. The threat of having to interrupt my education suddenly seemed very real. Luckily, my father was able to scrape together enough money to keep me in school and I had the savings to support myself otherwise. As if the new financial strain was not enough, I was continually scheduling very difficult classes at Penn State. The slate included classes in fields such as organic chemistry, physics, biology, political science, and Spanish. Never did I schedule a semester of less than 15 credits (for financial reasons of course). I was also forced to come home often. As my mother’s condition deteriorated, I was making the 3 ½ hour drive every other weekend.
Needless to say, it was difficult to succeed in conditions such as these. I learned how to cope through my work, both in school and in employment. Scholastically, my work served as a distraction from the problems I was experiencing back at home. I felt the need to validate my continued attendance at school with success. As a result, I poured my heart and soul into my schoolwork. I had never felt so satisfied by academic accomplishment in my life. I got my first taste of law education during this period of time in the form of a constitutional law class that was a requirement for my major. It focused on reviewing important Supreme Court decisions, and how they set up precedent for future cases. I enjoyed the detail that was required for me to prosper in the class. The act of poring over decisions produced the impulse that eventually motivated me to look into an education in law.
My employment was another important piece of my maturation process. Over the summer, I worked at an imaging center called Viewmont Medical Services. I was responsible for attending to patients basic needs, as well as preparing them for their procedures. My experience at Viewmont allowed me to meet a wide variety of people, some of whom I developed a relationship with. I noticed a pattern within those who were recovering from their maladies. Those who seemed to be improving had maintained an air of positivity about them. It was this positivity that got them through their tough time. It was an attitude that rubbed off on me as time went on. It kept me confident in my future, both without my mother and as a prospective law student. A positive attitude is what has kept me vigilant in seeking a career in law, despite the grim job prospects. I might not have faith in the improvement of the legal market, but I have faith in myself. I trust that I will succeed in the competitive environment that law has in store for me. Just like the patients at Viewmont, I will persevere.
My mother eventually passed away in March of 2011, only a year and a half after her diagnosis. A void has been left behind within my extended family. My mother was somewhat of a leader amongst my kin. Her tough love and strong will acted as an emotional backbone for my aunts, uncles, and grandmother. With her loss, many of my family members did not know where to turn for strength. I believe that I have been able to fill this role, providing emotional support to those who have lost their rock. Two years ago, I would not have been capable of such a role. My ability to move on with life has given my relatives a model of how to proceed. I am often asked how I have been able to adjust so quickly. My answer is always the same. I believe that setting a goal, and working toward it is the best way to deal with adversity. Every obstacle faced is only a temporary hindrance. Law school is only the next obstacle I have to climb, and I believe that the adversity I have overcome has prepared me for whatever lies in the way of my dream: a career in law.