Personal Statement First Draft...Please Help
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 5:38 am
Rewrote my PS from a different angle. Please provide feedback and criticism.
In the fall semester of my junior year I enrolled in Applied Corporate Finance the capstone course of the University of Georgia’s undergraduate finance program. This course is intended to pull together the various aspects of finance together through case-based learning, lectures from industry leaders, and collaborative projects.
During this time, I had begun to seriously reconsider my career aspirations. Initially, I intended to use my finance degree to pursue a career in private wealth management. While attending school full-time that semester and working at Ruffalo Cody twenty hours a week, I was simultaneously completing an internship with Wells Fargo Advisors in Gainesville, GA. This position, which provided me with my first hands-on exposure to the financial services industry, convinced me that an entry-level position in wealth management, although potentially rewarding, wouldn’t make the best use of my abilities nor allow me to adequately explore my interest in finance. After working at Wells Fargo for a couple weeks, I quickly realized that at the bottom rung of the wealth management field, the job responsibilities of a new advisor weren’t much different from my job as a professional fundraiser. While, entry-level advisors were tasked to stay abreast of the financial markets, their primary responsibility was to sell financial products. I didn’t doubt that I could excel in this capacity; in fact I believe that my background had uniquely prepared me for such a position. As a professional fundraiser, I made hundreds of cold calls daily inquiring alumni of various colleges and universities to contribute to their alma mater. This experience had sharpened my communication skills and more importantly my ability to listen and relate to people. However, I was thoroughly unimpressed with the lack of intellectually challenging assignments that a career in wealth management presented.
I desired to pursue a career which would require that I used my knowledge of finance to evaluate complex problems and develop multi-faceted solutions to those problems. Naturally, I began to look towards other careers in the finance industry. I seriously contemplated pursuing a career in investment banking. Investment banking seemed to provide the serious intellectual challenge I sought, but I was turned off at the idea of being an “excel monkey” for several years. I didn’t want to toil in front of a computer for several years before I was allowed the opportunity to engage with and communicate with the clients I worked for.
One day in my Applied Corporate Finance class, Mr. W. Benjamin Barkley, a partner in the corporate department of Kilpatrick, Townsend, and Stockton, gave an exhaustive presentation describing his work as a corporate lawyer specializing in mergers and acquisitions. I had always thought of corporate lawyers as paper pushers. I envisioned them as introverted professionals, whose primary responsibility was to review complicated legalese and ensure that corporate transactions complied with regulatory requirements. As Mr. Barkley began to detail his involvement in multiple complex multimillion dollar mergers and other capital transactions, I was impressed by how knowledgeable he appeared to be about finance and the key concept of shareholder value maximization. Furthermore, I was pleasantly surprised at the importance Mr. Barkley placed on interpersonal communication skills in his work. Mr. Barkley, who ironically was also a finance major at the University of Georgia, made it clear that corporate lawyers weren’t simply involved in reviewing important documents, but were trusted advocates who ensured that their clients legal and financial interests were acknowledged and protected at every stage of a deal.
As I began to seriously research the corporate law path, I was convinced that this career, more so than any other I had previously considered, would provide mentally stimulating projects, while allowing me to take full advantage of my determined work ethic and ability to communicate effectively and persuasively. Corporate law isn’t overly concerned with number crunching or legal minutiae; instead it has an undeniable interdisciplinary focus where my knowledge of corporate finance, accounting, and economics will be invaluable. It is evidently clear that the most successful corporate attorneys are able to understand complex financial transactions from their client’s point of view, and couple this technical understanding of their client’s objectives with their legal knowledge and expertise to successfully represent their clients’ interests. I am immeasurably excited and motivated to take my first step towards a career in corporate law and begin my legal education.
In the fall semester of my junior year I enrolled in Applied Corporate Finance the capstone course of the University of Georgia’s undergraduate finance program. This course is intended to pull together the various aspects of finance together through case-based learning, lectures from industry leaders, and collaborative projects.
During this time, I had begun to seriously reconsider my career aspirations. Initially, I intended to use my finance degree to pursue a career in private wealth management. While attending school full-time that semester and working at Ruffalo Cody twenty hours a week, I was simultaneously completing an internship with Wells Fargo Advisors in Gainesville, GA. This position, which provided me with my first hands-on exposure to the financial services industry, convinced me that an entry-level position in wealth management, although potentially rewarding, wouldn’t make the best use of my abilities nor allow me to adequately explore my interest in finance. After working at Wells Fargo for a couple weeks, I quickly realized that at the bottom rung of the wealth management field, the job responsibilities of a new advisor weren’t much different from my job as a professional fundraiser. While, entry-level advisors were tasked to stay abreast of the financial markets, their primary responsibility was to sell financial products. I didn’t doubt that I could excel in this capacity; in fact I believe that my background had uniquely prepared me for such a position. As a professional fundraiser, I made hundreds of cold calls daily inquiring alumni of various colleges and universities to contribute to their alma mater. This experience had sharpened my communication skills and more importantly my ability to listen and relate to people. However, I was thoroughly unimpressed with the lack of intellectually challenging assignments that a career in wealth management presented.
I desired to pursue a career which would require that I used my knowledge of finance to evaluate complex problems and develop multi-faceted solutions to those problems. Naturally, I began to look towards other careers in the finance industry. I seriously contemplated pursuing a career in investment banking. Investment banking seemed to provide the serious intellectual challenge I sought, but I was turned off at the idea of being an “excel monkey” for several years. I didn’t want to toil in front of a computer for several years before I was allowed the opportunity to engage with and communicate with the clients I worked for.
One day in my Applied Corporate Finance class, Mr. W. Benjamin Barkley, a partner in the corporate department of Kilpatrick, Townsend, and Stockton, gave an exhaustive presentation describing his work as a corporate lawyer specializing in mergers and acquisitions. I had always thought of corporate lawyers as paper pushers. I envisioned them as introverted professionals, whose primary responsibility was to review complicated legalese and ensure that corporate transactions complied with regulatory requirements. As Mr. Barkley began to detail his involvement in multiple complex multimillion dollar mergers and other capital transactions, I was impressed by how knowledgeable he appeared to be about finance and the key concept of shareholder value maximization. Furthermore, I was pleasantly surprised at the importance Mr. Barkley placed on interpersonal communication skills in his work. Mr. Barkley, who ironically was also a finance major at the University of Georgia, made it clear that corporate lawyers weren’t simply involved in reviewing important documents, but were trusted advocates who ensured that their clients legal and financial interests were acknowledged and protected at every stage of a deal.
As I began to seriously research the corporate law path, I was convinced that this career, more so than any other I had previously considered, would provide mentally stimulating projects, while allowing me to take full advantage of my determined work ethic and ability to communicate effectively and persuasively. Corporate law isn’t overly concerned with number crunching or legal minutiae; instead it has an undeniable interdisciplinary focus where my knowledge of corporate finance, accounting, and economics will be invaluable. It is evidently clear that the most successful corporate attorneys are able to understand complex financial transactions from their client’s point of view, and couple this technical understanding of their client’s objectives with their legal knowledge and expertise to successfully represent their clients’ interests. I am immeasurably excited and motivated to take my first step towards a career in corporate law and begin my legal education.