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Help on Personal Statment
Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:31 pm
by Sweaters
Removed to re-write thanks
Re: Help on Personal Statment
Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:39 pm
by franklyscarlet
grammar, grammar, grammar. also, grammar. The second sentence is not a complete sentence. I saw you use the text slang "thru." All thoughts on topic aside, whenever you arrive at your final essay topic, please take it to a university writing center or a friend with VERY good editing skills.
edit: Verb tenses are often incorrect also.
Re: Help on Personal Statment
Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:42 pm
by rinkrat19
franklyscarlet wrote:grammar, grammar, grammar. also, grammar. The second sentence is not a complete sentence. I saw you use the text slang "thru." All thoughts on topic aside, whenever you arrive at your final essay topic, please take it to a university writing center or a friend with VERY good editing skills.
edit: Verb tenses are often incorrect also.
Holy crap, yes. This is a grammatical MESS.
The first paragraph should be scrapped entirely. I lost count of the incomplete sentences. You need to learn how to use a semicolon. The language is waaaaay too informal, almost conversational.
Just for starters.