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revising

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:27 pm
by nucky thompson
revising

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 5:56 pm
by sparty99
The first two paragraphs were okay, not really sure what you are trying to convey in the remaining paragraphs. You state that they gave you praise on your work, but how can this be proven? I think it is a little boring that you talk so vividly about a senior thesis and how you raised your gpa and gained confidence.

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:05 pm
by nucky thompson
the professor of the class is one of my recommendation writers. I am trying to show growth and accomplishment in college without regurgitating my resume

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:17 pm
by sparty99
“college students do not counter seasoned historians" - I have no idea what this means

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:19 pm
by nucky thompson
the historian took a stance on the topic in which my research was done - my argument/thesis countered his - i can word that more clearly

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:27 am
by nucky thompson
bump - I am having a lot of trouble writing this personal statement, but I am in a much better position now than I was when I started because of useful commentary. I have made revisions but I realize more can be done - If you read this PS please respond and point to areas I could improve or maybe point to something you like

Re: Have made significant changes to PS - please critique

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:16 am
by MumofCad
I'm going to PM you my responses, because I need to quote the text and I see you didn't want that done publicly.