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Got enough help this evening that I'm gonna take this down. Thanks y'all.

I don't have any experience with this, but...I'm not a huge fan.

First, the "greater good" seems awfully cliche. Do you have something in your resume you can draw on to convince me of this instead of telling me directly that you are going to make the world a better place with your law degree? I think it would be more effective and convincing to show me your commitment rather than it seeming like idle fancy. Especially since we saw from the Michigan thread that many many applicants say this.

I'm not sure your humor at the end really succeeds either.

Overall, I don't think the tone is very likeable. I could be wrong though. Sorry! Just wanted to be honest for your sake.

It seems a bit too general and you are talking about clinics and PI work. I'd suggest you talk about how a specific clinic will help you do the type of PI that you are interested in.

Meh...you could cross out Michigan and write-in any of the t-14 and your letter would make just as much sense. I don't think this essay could add anything to your app., and it may detract.

If I were you I would (1) get a copy of Anna Ivey's book and (2) come to Ann Arbor, visit the campus, and talk to people. Then you could write a truly effective Why Michigan.

I agree--I think writing about how you like doing community service or will work for the "greater good" is going to come off looking like a load of bs--even if it's true. Mentioning a specific clinic is good...however many schools have innocence clinics. So you will not really be proving your research skills by saying Michigan is unique in that respect. If you really are interested in their innocence project clinic, you should look up what prior students have done in that specific clinic.

You spend most of your time just saying how much you like Michigan...it's basically fluff. You should spend this space proving that the word Michigan could not be substituted for any other peer school. Look at what individual professors have done and talk about how you have an interest in that. Find out some special program they have and say you're interested in it.

I would also mention how you are really interested in Ann Arbor (if you've been there before, even better). I went to UMich undergrad, and I can tell you that people who live in AA tend to love it. If you're unfamiliar with the area, you can mention all of the entertainment (lots of concerts, musicals, art shows, etc.), the food, the nature trails (if you like hiking or biking), and the food (case in point: Zingermans).

HTH

Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.

I'm trying to focus the essay around a more specific theme--namely, one of the clinics--but I'm having trouble running up against the length limit. It said I should write just one page--can I take that to mean single-spaced, or is it assumed to be double?

kaftka juice wrote:Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.

Truth.

buckilaw wrote:

kaftka juice wrote:Also, don't say Penn State is U of M's rival. Because no one at Michigan really thinks that.

Truth.

Hey, that doesn't mean we don't hate you. Especially because of 2005. Bullshit two seconds, my ass.

I thought I made a blatant statement in the Mich applicants thread that anyone who didn't send me theirs is on my shitlist.

...Guys I'm going to be so bored for the next 10 months.

descartesb4thehorse wrote:I thought I made a blatant statement in the Mich applicants thread that anyone who didn't send me theirs is on my shitlist.

...Guys I'm going to be so bored for the next 10 months.

Check your pm's.

Devon's off the shitlist.

Devon were you a part of the Paranormal Research Society? I feel like that would make a particularly compelling PS.