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thanks for the feedback--ill try to tighten up some language!

I liked this. It read well and it was clear and concise. I think you tied it well to your interest in law and I liked the example you gave about how you were able to turn these ideas into fruitful discussions with your peers. I think if you tighten up the language a bit it will work well. Good luck!

Interesting & enjoyable to read ! Plus, now I know the definition of "ascetic".