Please review my personal statement
Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:51 am
Okay...
There are some caveats to this. First this was just written in 15 minutes. I guarantee you it is a piece of crap. It needs to be expanded in some areas and contracted in others etc. The ending also just kind of ends. What I am looking for here is a general opinion if I am in going in the right direction. Is it too much of one, not enough of another? What should I expand, what should I focus on? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Tim is an intelligent student but he just does not apply himself. That statement was written so often on my report cards, that my teachers should have purchased a stamp to avoid carpal tunnel from repetitive writing. It took me to the age of 31 to realize my potential, apply myself and finally, at the age of 39, sit to write this personal statement.
I am the youngest of four children. My father died when I was very young, so young in fact that I do not even remember him. My mother raised four children by herself. Although we were happy I know things were difficult for my mother. Along with the stress of four children, my older sister is autistic.
My life as a child was difficult. We did not have a lot of money and we lived on government assistance until I was in school fulltime and my mother could work. My mother did not have a lot of time to nurture her children. We were expected to do well in school, get a job and move out.
I was an average student throughout high school and I entered college with a dream of being an actor. While in college, I found that the part I liked least about school was the actual studying. Tim is an intelligent student but he just does not apply himself. I left school after two years to “take a semester off.”
I did not immediately return to school. Life happened; I got a job and got married. My childhood spent without material things made me seek them out. I spent my money on frivolous things, got into severe debt and defaulted on my student loans. By the time my 31st birthday came and went, I was going through a divorce, my credit was in shambles and I owed thousands of dollars.
Luckily for me, I had the help of a good friend. I moved to North Carolina and went to work. We tried to open a small business that failed, but it was my first glimpse into what I could actually be. Working on this business helped me overcome my biggest obstacle in life, fear of failure. Attempting to open a business is a lot of work. You must believe in yourself and your abilities. For most of my adult life, I was afraid of failing. My fear of failure, kept me a failure.
I met a wonderful woman shortly thereafter and moved to her home state of Connecticut. Strengthened with my new found courage, I started to get my life back on track. I took the next year and a half to get my finances in order and to pay off a lot of debt. With my credit back in reasonable shape, I concurred my next greatest obstacle; My Bachelor’s Degree.
With a lot of fear and trepidation, I returned to college at the 33. I had no more time to spare so I attended an accelerated program for adult learners at Quinnipiac University. While working full time and taking 12 credits per semester, I finished my BS while achieving straight A’s. I finally applied myself.
I decided last year to try for a paralegal certificate. After the first week of my Introduction to Law class, I knew I had finally found my calling. Never in all of my studies have I found something that excited me so much. I was engaged and enthralled. Through the program, I worked with clients at a Foreclosure Clinic supported by Connecticut Fair Housing, I participated in moot court and assisted a professor in the development and delivery of Technology in Law presentation to paralegal educators.
I took me until the age of 38 to find my true calling. I love working with people and feeling like I made a difference. I truly believe a career in law will be fulfilling.
There are some caveats to this. First this was just written in 15 minutes. I guarantee you it is a piece of crap. It needs to be expanded in some areas and contracted in others etc. The ending also just kind of ends. What I am looking for here is a general opinion if I am in going in the right direction. Is it too much of one, not enough of another? What should I expand, what should I focus on? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Tim is an intelligent student but he just does not apply himself. That statement was written so often on my report cards, that my teachers should have purchased a stamp to avoid carpal tunnel from repetitive writing. It took me to the age of 31 to realize my potential, apply myself and finally, at the age of 39, sit to write this personal statement.
I am the youngest of four children. My father died when I was very young, so young in fact that I do not even remember him. My mother raised four children by herself. Although we were happy I know things were difficult for my mother. Along with the stress of four children, my older sister is autistic.
My life as a child was difficult. We did not have a lot of money and we lived on government assistance until I was in school fulltime and my mother could work. My mother did not have a lot of time to nurture her children. We were expected to do well in school, get a job and move out.
I was an average student throughout high school and I entered college with a dream of being an actor. While in college, I found that the part I liked least about school was the actual studying. Tim is an intelligent student but he just does not apply himself. I left school after two years to “take a semester off.”
I did not immediately return to school. Life happened; I got a job and got married. My childhood spent without material things made me seek them out. I spent my money on frivolous things, got into severe debt and defaulted on my student loans. By the time my 31st birthday came and went, I was going through a divorce, my credit was in shambles and I owed thousands of dollars.
Luckily for me, I had the help of a good friend. I moved to North Carolina and went to work. We tried to open a small business that failed, but it was my first glimpse into what I could actually be. Working on this business helped me overcome my biggest obstacle in life, fear of failure. Attempting to open a business is a lot of work. You must believe in yourself and your abilities. For most of my adult life, I was afraid of failing. My fear of failure, kept me a failure.
I met a wonderful woman shortly thereafter and moved to her home state of Connecticut. Strengthened with my new found courage, I started to get my life back on track. I took the next year and a half to get my finances in order and to pay off a lot of debt. With my credit back in reasonable shape, I concurred my next greatest obstacle; My Bachelor’s Degree.
With a lot of fear and trepidation, I returned to college at the 33. I had no more time to spare so I attended an accelerated program for adult learners at Quinnipiac University. While working full time and taking 12 credits per semester, I finished my BS while achieving straight A’s. I finally applied myself.
I decided last year to try for a paralegal certificate. After the first week of my Introduction to Law class, I knew I had finally found my calling. Never in all of my studies have I found something that excited me so much. I was engaged and enthralled. Through the program, I worked with clients at a Foreclosure Clinic supported by Connecticut Fair Housing, I participated in moot court and assisted a professor in the development and delivery of Technology in Law presentation to paralegal educators.
I took me until the age of 38 to find my true calling. I love working with people and feeling like I made a difference. I truly believe a career in law will be fulfilling.
