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So I was thinking about writing about a traumatic family event, involving an injury to my father where I was primarily involved in rehabilitating him/helping to support the family. I was 17 at the time, so the story is from high school. However, that year before college stimulated a strong drive/motivation. It is also part of the reason I ended up financing all of my education so that my younger siblings could be provided for in college by my family. I want the message to both include the development of a strong drive/motivation, but also as a socio-economic statement for California schools.

I wasn't sure where to emphasize the focus though. If I talk too much about the events at 17, I'm afraid it will sound too immature. However, if I talk too much about its effects in college, I'm afraid it will not be as focused/too broad.

What do you guys think?

write it and we will let you know.

Would any of you mind if I PM'd you a very rough draft of my PS? I'm having difficulty really structuring it. I think I need some really tough criticism.

PM it.

Thanks verity, your comments were very helpful. Is anyone else willing to critique my PS?

Yes.

Me too.