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CanadianWolf wrote:Not good. Basically, you have 3 paragraphs of material that you have stretched into 6 paragraphs. This is poorly written & difficult to accept as the work product of a rising second year law student. Try to stay on topic & write in crisp,clear sentences. Good luck !

P.S. Actually you have only one or two paragraphs of relevant material. This essay needs to be rewritten, in my opinion. Too many extraneous facts & observations that are not directly related to why you want to transfer to FSU.

I developed an interest in international law jurisprudence through my undergraduate studies in political science, and growing up with the life-stories of my father; a father, a Cuban immigrant who left his country as a political refugee.

At X Law School, I advanced this interest as an international environmental law student during my first year when I gained a research position with Professor X. Through my research, I documented piracy off the coast of Somali.

I learned that the genesis of Somali piracy has a nexus to its inhabitant’s inhabitants' efforts to deter foreigners from overfishing and polluting the Somali coastline

and that international law often fails to properly address these important environmental issues.

Many of these practices, such as sailing under “flags of convenience,” which is the act of registering a vessel with a State state that does not abide by international environmental laws in order to flout them, create major transboundary problems regarding Illegal, Unreported and Unregulated fishing (IUU), air pollution, and pollution of the oceans.

I feel that I can be this type of lawyer, that I would enjoy the work it involves, and that the Florida State University College of Law can best help me to achieve this goal because of its distinguished professors that are experts in international environmental law.

In studying the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, (UNCLOS),

These insights, provided by Professor Christie and Craig’s work, had a great impact on the role that I began to see for lawyers that could change the underwhelming policy that some international environmental regulations entail.

One of the most appealing things to me about the schools location is its close proximity to those who mean the most to me; like my sister and my parents who are relocating to Tampa.

There is also the added benefit to attending FSU because I lived in the capitol district

for six years ins , making friends that work in the legal field who will recommend me to Florida employers.

stuckinparadise wrote:I am pursuing a transfer to the Florida State University College of Law to further develop myself as a student of international environmental law, lower my debt burden, and be closer to my family and friends.

I developed an interest in international law jurisprudence through my as a politcal science undergraduate studies in political science, and growing up with hearing the rich life stories of my Cuban father; a Cuban immigrant who left his country of origin as a political refugee. However, like many of my peers, I began my law school studies with only a basic understanding of international law and no idea which area of law I would focus. At X Law School, I studied and gleened a deeper passion advanced this interest as an for international environmental law student during my first year when I gained was awarded a research position with Professor X. My work with Professor X has sharpened my career focus and heightened my desire to learn all that I can about international environmental law and policy. As a thought leader in the area of international environmental law, Florida State College of Law offers me the perfect place to further prepare for a career protecting our oceans and environment.

Through my research, I documented piracy off the coast of Somali. I learned that the genesis of Somali piracy has a nexus to its inhabitant’s efforts to deter foreigners from overfishing and polluting the Somali coastline and that international law often fails to properly address these important environmental issues.

As I gained a deeper understanding of international environmental law, I became frustrated with some of its the maritime practices that were negatively impacting the seas and waterways. Many of these practices, such as registering and sailing under “flags of convenience” which is the act of registering a vessel to be governed by with a State that does not abide by international environmental laws in order to flout them, create major transboundary problems regarding flout laws regulating Illegal, Unreported and Unregulated fishing (IUU), air pollution, and pollution of the oceans. These issues can be effectively addressed, but the lawyers who address them will need to utilize the resources available to them and understand the nuances involved in arguing for sound policies. I feel that I can be this type of lawyer, that I would enjoy the work it involves, and that the Florida State University College of Law can best help me to achieve this goal because of offers me the best preparation for this career with its distinguished professors that are experts in international environmental law.

In While studying the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, (UNCLOS), I was able to embrace the work product of was impressed by Professor Donna Christie's scholarship. I read her contributions on the U.S. Commission of Ocean Policy, and her article on the Coastal Zone Management (CZM) Act of Belize which illuminated some of the more important aspects of how outdated legislation adversely affects progress in coastal zone management programs. I also became familiar with Professor Robin Craig’s work on coastal water pollution and her explanations on how constitutional jurisprudence is often too cumbersome to solve environmental issues. These insights, provided by Professor Christie and Craig’s work,had a great impact on the role that I began to see for lawyers that could encouraged me to apply my career to changing the underwhelming ineffective policies that some international environmental regulations entail. I believe studying under and supporting these FSU professors because FSU has professors such as these in their international and environmental departments, I will be able to find the direction and understanding I will need to tackle these important issues. need from mentors who understand the issues that I would like to tackle.

As a Florida resident, I am also attracted to FSU because of its location and cost of tuition. One of the most appealing things to me about the schools location is its close proximity to those who mean the most to me; like my sister and my parents who are relocating to in Tampa. There is also the added benefit to attending FSU because I previously lived in the capitol district for six years making friends that work building relationships with recommenders in the legal field who will recommend me to hold some sway with Florida employers. Also, the lower cost of tuition at FSU, and its associated lower debt load, will significantly enhance my career flexibility because of a reduced debt ability to serve the public interest. Overall, these benefits not only provide me with the opportunities that I desire, but they also The familial support and greater financial security provide me with a stable and healthy environment that at FSU will reduce stress and allow me to thrive even more at the Florida State University College of Law.

Because of its qualities, FSU will best help me to become a successful international environmental attorney. After a In my first year of law school, I have accomplished some been involved in important research that has allowed me to appreciate the role that international law has in shaping world-wide environmental policies. Though I am grateful for the opportunities that I have found through my current school. I know the resources at FSU will allow me to achieve the level of success that no other law school can provide even greater opportunities to succeed and grow. I look forward to working with the international and environmental law departments and being mentored by some of the leading scholars in the field. I am also eager to move back to the community that I call come home, remain closer to my family, and use avail myself of the connections supporters I have in the Tallahassee legal community to begin launch my legal career. It is a great honor privilege to be considered for a seat in Florida State’s class of 2013 and I can say with absolute certainty that there is no other law school that I would rather attend than the Florida State University College of Law.