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Second draft of PS

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:59 pm
by spek
I've written a very rough draft of a PS and would like some feedback on it--I would like to know what works and what doesn't work so I can move on from there. Please PM if you're willing to critique this draft for me. I really appreciate it!

edit: I've done a second draft and would again appreciate feedback on it. I'm willing to swap PS's and help critique someone else's :)

Re: First draft of PS

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:28 pm
by spek
bump

Re: First draft of PS

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:34 pm
by paratactical
If you don't want to post it publicly, more people will be willing to read it if you

1) Say something about what it's about
2) Revise it a time or two on your own first, rather than coming here with a first draft
3) Offer to critique their PS's in return

HTH

Re: First draft of PS

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:15 pm
by spek
paratactical wrote:If you don't want to post it publicly, more people will be willing to read it if you

1) Say something about what it's about
2) Revise it a time or two on your own first, rather than coming here with a first draft
3) Offer to critique their PS's in return

HTH
Thanks!

1) It's about a trip I took and how that changed my perspective/gave me new priorities.
2) I've revised it a bit but I'm feeling stuck so I would love some insight on whether or not I'm on the right track.
3) I'm very willing to critique other PS's in exchange! Very bored atm and would love to try to help others edit theirs.

Re: First draft of PS

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:53 pm
by icecold3000
I will take a look at it for you.

Re: First draft of PS

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:48 am
by paratactical
spek wrote:
paratactical wrote:If you don't want to post it publicly, more people will be willing to read it if you

1) Say something about what it's about
2) Revise it a time or two on your own first, rather than coming here with a first draft
3) Offer to critique their PS's in return

HTH
Thanks!

1) It's about a trip I took and how that changed my perspective/gave me new priorities.
2) I've revised it a bit but I'm feeling stuck so I would love some insight on whether or not I'm on the right track.
3) I'm very willing to critique other PS's in exchange! Very bored atm and would love to try to help others edit theirs.
Great! 2 is my problem - I don't mind helping anyone, but I hate when I feel like I"m getting their stream of consciousness. Feel free to PM it to me. If I have time at work today, I'll look at it then. If not, I'll try to get to it on Monday.

Re: Second draft of PS

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:49 pm
by spek
Thanks to everyone who's helped so far. Bump to see if anyone else is willing to critique or would like to swap :).

Re: Second draft of PS

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:40 pm
by Magnolia
I'm happy to take a look.

Re: Second draft of PS

Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 7:10 pm
by billyez
I'll take a look as well.

Re: Second draft of PS

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:28 pm
by auburnbelle89
If you're still looking for a reader, I'd be more than willing to critique or swap with you :D

Re: Second draft of PS

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:21 am
by curiouscat
Still looking for readers? I'll be happy to take a peak.