PS Rough Draft...Honest Opinions/ Critiques Welcome
Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 1:56 pm
Having a tough time with the personal statement but this is where Im at right now...remember this is a very rough draft so grammatical errors will be present. I would like an honest critique of the overall theme of the paper and what you all would add and or takeout along with any other helpful and honest critiques...Have no mercy!! Oh I guess I should mention that the schools to which I am applying...Dayton, Northern Ky and Louisville.
Personal Statement
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”
-George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)
There is that one time in everyone’s life when they are presented with a challenge—that ultimately has them questioning themselves—asking whether or not they can succeed. The question, however, shouldn’t be if they can succeed but rather if they are determined enough to try, for better or worse. I will never forget when I found myself asking that same question and little did I know what I would realize once I found myself conquering my greatest phobia.
My time came on a fateful day in the middle of July in the gorges of New River, West Virginia. I was coming to the penultimate journey of a two week backpacking trip in New River Gorge where I was about to attempt something that no one with a crippling fear of heights would ever imagine, scale a seventy foot rock face and rappel back down. I approached that rock face telling myself I could do it but it wasn’t long until I found myself thirty feet off of the ground, knees shaking and my heart beating like a bass drum. I made the costly mistake of looking down and I ultimately froze and fear induced paralysis soon followed. I latched on to that rock and listened to all those below me trying to instill into me a since of confidence and the courage to resume. I knew however, that I was the only one who could convince myself that I could in fact move upward. Once I collected myself, I edged upward, taking one step at a time until I reached the top. The journey back down was quite uneventful, it turns out that the hardest part—and perhaps the most trying—is ascending while descending takes less effort…such is life so they so say.
That adventure took place the summer before I entered college to begin a new chapter in my life. I was entering college after a five year hiatus from when I graduated high school and was questioning myself on whether or not I would be prepared for the academic challenges that lie ahead of me in the coming years, but that day in July answered my doubts. I realized that if I honestly gave, not only school, but life itself 100 percent I could succeed and achieve becoming the person I was meant to be. I spent the last four years of my life working on graduating from college and improving not only myself but trying to help out my community as well. Now I began yet another chapter in my life that all my hard work and determination has led me to and that is law school. I chose to apply to the (School Name Omitted) School Of Law because I believe they offer me the greatest amount resources and opportunities in order to not only be a successful student but more importantly a successful lawyer.
After I visited (School Name Omitted) and its School of Law, it became apparent that this was in fact the best fit for me. While the facilities were awe inspiring, it truly came down to their Academic Success Program and faculty members that I heard from while on that visit. The study of law is an arduous journey that takes courage and determination in order to navigate successfully and I understand this fact. I too also realize that the choice one makes in choosing a law school is just as important and with the skills that I can gain from such practical programs as the externship, the School of Law (School Name Omitted) will provide me with the hands on experience needed to excel and stand above the rest.
Personal Statement
“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”
-George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)
There is that one time in everyone’s life when they are presented with a challenge—that ultimately has them questioning themselves—asking whether or not they can succeed. The question, however, shouldn’t be if they can succeed but rather if they are determined enough to try, for better or worse. I will never forget when I found myself asking that same question and little did I know what I would realize once I found myself conquering my greatest phobia.
My time came on a fateful day in the middle of July in the gorges of New River, West Virginia. I was coming to the penultimate journey of a two week backpacking trip in New River Gorge where I was about to attempt something that no one with a crippling fear of heights would ever imagine, scale a seventy foot rock face and rappel back down. I approached that rock face telling myself I could do it but it wasn’t long until I found myself thirty feet off of the ground, knees shaking and my heart beating like a bass drum. I made the costly mistake of looking down and I ultimately froze and fear induced paralysis soon followed. I latched on to that rock and listened to all those below me trying to instill into me a since of confidence and the courage to resume. I knew however, that I was the only one who could convince myself that I could in fact move upward. Once I collected myself, I edged upward, taking one step at a time until I reached the top. The journey back down was quite uneventful, it turns out that the hardest part—and perhaps the most trying—is ascending while descending takes less effort…such is life so they so say.
That adventure took place the summer before I entered college to begin a new chapter in my life. I was entering college after a five year hiatus from when I graduated high school and was questioning myself on whether or not I would be prepared for the academic challenges that lie ahead of me in the coming years, but that day in July answered my doubts. I realized that if I honestly gave, not only school, but life itself 100 percent I could succeed and achieve becoming the person I was meant to be. I spent the last four years of my life working on graduating from college and improving not only myself but trying to help out my community as well. Now I began yet another chapter in my life that all my hard work and determination has led me to and that is law school. I chose to apply to the (School Name Omitted) School Of Law because I believe they offer me the greatest amount resources and opportunities in order to not only be a successful student but more importantly a successful lawyer.
After I visited (School Name Omitted) and its School of Law, it became apparent that this was in fact the best fit for me. While the facilities were awe inspiring, it truly came down to their Academic Success Program and faculty members that I heard from while on that visit. The study of law is an arduous journey that takes courage and determination in order to navigate successfully and I understand this fact. I too also realize that the choice one makes in choosing a law school is just as important and with the skills that I can gain from such practical programs as the externship, the School of Law (School Name Omitted) will provide me with the hands on experience needed to excel and stand above the rest.