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Nothin' to see here.

Bump?

From a quick look, I would say:
- Cut the intro about "why law." It's distracting and not very well executed anyway.
- Cut out everything related to LSAT -- it's irrelevant and detracts from a clear message.
- This reads like a newspaper article. Why? They want to read a PS, with thematic, cohesive paragraphs. Breaking them should be for rhetorical effect, which you do only once: "I hated myself."
- Your motif of music being a liberating mechanism for your sexuality is not as clear as it could be. The topic shift seems abrupt, and the incentive/motivation/impetus -- no matter how true it may be -- seems artificial. Just my opinion though.
- the chronology is distorted because you talk about dating men in college then revert to your musical revelation at 17

Good things:
- personal struggle with homophobia and societal pressure (but I hated the "societal and legal world" phrase)
- the musical details are great, speaks to how well-versed you are in music
- "it gets better" theme motif
- conclusion is good

Solutions:
Each paragraph should establish a point, leading to your decision since this is the main point of your PS (I struggled, I overcame , how I overcame, I want to help others like me overcome). Weave the music into the LGBTQ narrative elegantly and logically.

In many ways, you have the opportunity to write something bigger than a why I want to go to law school. With material as rich as this I would opt to remove law school from the PS entirely and instead refocus the statement a bit to depict your sexual maturation exclusively and reflect on its importance and implications for other LGBTQ individuals. Just my opinion. The Why Law fits fine anyhow.

Good luck!

Well written & convincing.

I agree with aesis's advice. I will say, however, I was still engrossed. It's not perfect yet, but the story is beautiful