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“God hates [homophobic language redacted],” read just one of the many homophobic picket signs held by the members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) as they protested what they considered “one of the most ‘gay enabling’ states in the nation.” The WBC is a militant christian group that traverses the United States protesting whatever aspect of society they deem immoral. In response to WBC’s picketing, a group of counter-protesters formed across the street holding signs of their own and chanting refrains of equality. Instead of feeling disgusted by the inhumanity of the WBC across the street, I felt a great sense of encouragement and pride as I looked around at my fellow counter-protesters. I was encouraged by the fact that our numbers more than tripled those of the WBC and how passersby honked and yelled shouts of support for our cause. I felt proud to be out in public doing something for a cause in which I believed, and I was glad I had the voice to do so.

Lawquacious wrote:Because it is in context I really doubt using the word will be a problem.. Modifying it might take some of the 'strikingness' out of the opening if they have to try to figure out for even a second or two what it means.. Just my IMO

screenname123456789 wrote:

“God hates [homophobic language redacted],” read just one of the many homophobic picket signs held by the members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) as they protested what they considered “one of the most ‘gay enabling’ states in the nation.” The WBC is a militant christian group that traverses the United States protesting whatever aspect of society they deem immoral. In response to WBC’s picketing, a group of counter-protesters formed across the street holding signs of their own and chanting refrains of equality. Instead of feeling disgusted by the inhumanity of the WBC across the street, I felt a great sense of encouragement and pride as I looked around at my fellow counter-protesters. I was encouraged by the fact that our numbers more than tripled those of the WBC and how passersby honked and yelled shouts of support for our cause. I felt proud to be out in public doing something for a cause in which I believed, and I was glad I had the voice to do so.

MattThiessen wrote:Yes, if you are applying to Regent University and Liberty University.

AreJay711 wrote:

MattThiessen wrote:Yes, if you are applying to Regent University and Liberty University.

The WBC aren't really baptists. I could start a church tomorrow called the Baltimore Catholic Church where we have drunken orgies as our form of worship but the real Catholic Church wouldn't have an issue if someone protested us.

cahesu wrote:

screenname123456789 wrote:

“God hates [homophobic language redacted],” read just one of the many homophobic picket signs held by the members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) as they protested what they considered “one of the most ‘gay enabling’ states in the nation.” The WBC is a militant christian group that traverses the United States protesting whatever aspect of society they deem immoral. In response to WBC’s picketing, a group of counter-protesters formed across the street holding signs of their own and chanting refrains of equality. Instead of feeling disgusted by the inhumanity of the WBC across the street, I felt a great sense of encouragement and pride as I looked around at my fellow counter-protesters. I was encouraged by the fact that our numbers more than tripled those of the WBC and how passersby honked and yelled shouts of support for our cause. I felt proud to be out in public doing something for a cause in which I believed, and I was glad I had the voice to do so.

This part seems a bit hypocritical.

twert wrote:personally, i don't think the opening is striking. It makes me cringe. Using words like that to get attention seems rather high schoolish. On the other hand, i think adcoms are mature enough to not be offended by it.

NZA wrote:

twert wrote:personally, i don't think the opening is striking. It makes me cringe. Using words like that to get attention seems rather high schoolish. On the other hand, i think adcoms are mature enough to not be offended by it.

I agree.

Could you maybe use another example of the WBCs signs? "God Hates Dead Soldiers?"

I mean, I realize that may sound kind of callous (implying that, "God hates [homophobic language redacted]" is somehow less offensive than "God hates dead soldiers"), and I'm not trying to say that that example is somehow less hurtful. What I am saying is that the substance, rather than the style, is transmitted.

You know? Like, you want to grab the adcoms attention, but the thing that should grab their attention is you, not your words.

Does this make sense? Feel free to ignore this advice.

screenname123456789 wrote:Well my PS goes on to talk about my coming out and how important gay rights are to me (a link if more context would help http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... 8&t=139308)

....that our numbers more than tripled those of the WBC and how passersby honked and yelled shouts of support for our cause...

BaiAilian2013 wrote:

cahesu wrote:

screenname123456789 wrote:

“God hates [homophobic language redacted],” read just one of the many homophobic picket signs held by the members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) as they protested what they considered “one of the most ‘gay enabling’ states in the nation.” The WBC is a militant christian group that traverses the United States protesting whatever aspect of society they deem immoral. In response to WBC’s picketing, a group of counter-protesters formed across the street holding signs of their own and chanting refrains of equality. Instead of feeling disgusted by the inhumanity of the WBC across the street, I felt a great sense of encouragement and pride as I looked around at my fellow counter-protesters. I was encouraged by the fact that our numbers more than tripled those of the WBC and how passersby honked and yelled shouts of support for our cause. I felt proud to be out in public doing something for a cause in which I believed, and I was glad I had the voice to do so.

This part seems a bit hypocritical.

I thought that too... and I think the reason it seems hypocritical relates to one of the other comments you're getting here: you've described the WBC as basically just another religious group. I think you could avoid this by making sure to differentiate the WBC from all the more respected religious groups that do also believe gay people are going to hell but don't go around picketing people's funerals (like the Catholic Church). I don't know if the WBC is technically "militant," but you're going in the right direction with that kind of adjective. Call them, like, a "hate group" or something.

SOME PERSONAL STATEMENT ADVICE FROM A PAST FACULTY ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE MEMBER
The following was written by a member of the Berkeley Law faculty (and past member of the Admissions Committee) in response to trends they were seeing in personal statement content and tone. We offer this feedback for you to consider when developing your personal statement:

"The statement should avoid simply summarizing what is in the resume. It should avoid simply asserting how able, accomplished, and well suited for law school the applicant is. It should avoid uninformed attempts to ingratiate oneself through exaggerated claims of one’s interest in Boalt...For instance, more than a few applicants stressed how much they want to work with named individuals who are at best passingly related to a Center or the like and aren’t even members of the faculty; these claims make one doubt the applicant’s due diligence...

The statement should avoid self-absorbed autobiography. What we need is something that doesn’t simply assert, a.k.a brag about, how qualified and impressive the applicant is, but rather demonstrates it through the substance of what is said in the personal statement. If it is going to be autobiographical, I for one would prefer it to generalize a bit; that is, instead of, 'How I changed as a result of this experience and now am so special,' it should talk about how and why such experiences can affect people.

“I felt the cold, sharp edge of a knife at my neck.” “ ‘You rich Americans are all alike,’ she screamed.” “I’ve never been so scared in my life.” “The child’s belly was swollen and scabbed.” You get the picture. Starting the essay with a dramatic, unexplained sentence designed to grab the startled reader’s attention. (In fact, what it does to the reader is produce a dismayed feeling of, “Oh no, not another one of these.”). Continuing this dramatic episode for a short paragraph without tipping off its relevance to the application. Beginning the next paragraph by switching to expository style and informing us of what you were doing in this dire situation and how it was part of the background that makes you a special applicant to law school. Developing why you are so special in the rest of the statement. Then concluding with a touching statement returning to the opening gambit, about how now, after law school, you can really help that little girl in rags.

It is very clear that many applicants have been coached by someone that this is how to write a compelling personal statement...This format is transparently manipulative, formulaic, and coached. Except for the occasional novelist we admit, none of our students or graduates is going to write in this style again; none, thank goodness, is going to begin a brief with, “He stood frozen in fear as the gunman appeared out of the darkness.” So, this artifice is irrelevant to law and counter-productive: Once it ceases to surprise – and it did so more than 10 years ago – it just becomes a cliché which really ought to be held against the writer. Not only using clichés, but also having been coached ought to, in an ideal world, discount an application. Needless to say, however, I did not hold these statements against the writers. Often the bulk of the statement does report on impressive activities that are relevant to admission. But it is transparent when essay formulas have been coached, and we (should) strongly advise applicants to write in their own voice and style and without trying to dramatize what they have to say in order to attract our attention."