Top Law Schools

Please let me know if it works.


----------
In 2001, during my freshman undergraduate year, I was placed on scholastic probation for falling below the required 2.X GPA for that semester. Having entered college at seventeen, I had an immature approach to independent college life, and this reflected in my grades. Working over thirty hours per week, I was not properly committed to my academic success. I realized that I either had to leave school or make it a priority.

The following semester I moved out of the dorms in order to remove distractions, and cut back on my work hours. I scheduled my work and studies, taking a more organized approach to life. That semester I achieved a 3.XX GPA and was removed from scholastic probation.

bumping- I respond to you guys so please, even if it is just a thumbs up, or "shorten" or "too bitchy" - whatever.

Thanks!

Just make sure that your statement is factual. Did you really work over 30 hours per week the whole semester? If so, I think it might help if you are on the border -but it doesn't really smack of immaturity. Immature would be taking out max loans and partying like a rock star.

littlebit wrote:Just make sure that your statement is factual. Did you really work over 30 hours per week the whole semester? If so, I think it might help if you are on the border -but it doesn't really smack of immaturity. Immature would be taking out max loans and partying like a rock star.

+1

I think this is well done. Short and to the point. Maybe replace immature with naive or unprepared? I'm really not that bothered by the word immature, though. In all, this gets the point across.

Thanks for all the feedback. Its clear I failed at my intention to separate my workload with my immaturity. my goal was to state that I was arrogant, thought that college would be cake like highschool had been, and so I could work a lot while going to school.

I will make some changes- thanks again-