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you put your real name? delete that boo boo.

overall this is good. honest and has all the characteristics of a decent personal statement. the ending is a bit too hallmark for me. just my opinion, however.

does your mom really just up and quote Emerson like that? pretty hot.

Her and my father separated after eight years and two children together.

this sentence sounds awkward, consider revising.
overall, good content, needs work on the execution =)