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Thx.

Starts off in a weak fashion, then progresses nicely & ends with two superfluous sentences.

"I became an impartial viewer of arguments..." is somewhat troubling as this could only be accomplished by a higher power or by a post-lobotomy patient.

DELETE: The final two sentences.

I think you'd do better without the first paragraph. I just get the strange feeling that admissions people see allusions to 'carpe diem' all the time. It really picks up after paragraph 3. I enjoyed it.