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Anyone? Is it that bad? Say something, someone!

I wanted to read more so it's definitely not bad, but someone can probably help you tightening it up to enhance the rhetorical effect

Fresh wrote:I wanted to read more so it's definitely not bad, but someone can probably help you tightening it up to enhance the rhetorical effect

I agree. The wording can be tightened up quite a bit.

My sisters and I often speculated about our dad’s sexuality. I vividly remember talking to my older sister on the phone, and she told me that she “knew” dad was gay. She said that she found a book in his closet about how to come out of the closet.

"I vividly remembered when my older sister told me she had found a book about coming out of the closet." seems to convey the same meaning and is much more concise

At the time, I was 13 and living a thousand miles away.

Don't know if this is necessary.

I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. I just knew that she was right, whether he has said it himself or not. A little over a year later, and with hesitation, he said the simple words, “You know what mine and ______ living situation is?” And with that, although already suspecting it for years, my world was changed.

"Even without him saying so, I just knew she was right. A little over a year later he said, with some hesitation, the simple words, “You know what mine and ______ living situation is?”, and my world was changed".


Just some thoughts. I like the idea of the opening, but cut it down a bit.