Sitting in my kitchen in a bathrobe staring at my 2 para.s
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:54 pm
You can PM me if you're curious.
People say the streets of New York City are cold. Indeed, chilling winters are a characteristic element of the landscape and one that many of the city’s homeless can attest to. Aside from the cold temperatures, the homeless are often confronted with the seemingly cold indifference of the New Yorkers that they continually depend on for support. The overwhelming presence of poverty that infiltrates the city streets has made many city dwellers desensitized to human suffering and thereby force poverty to become an overlooked issue. Living in a city that symbolizes international economic prosperity and simultaneously reveals the tragic realities of homelessness, I could not begin to fathom the challenges that half the world population, living in dire poverty, must continue to face abroad.
So the first thing that stood out to me was that you used cold a lot (maybe too much?) in the first couple of sentences.
I also don't know if you want to make the jump from the indifference of NY'ers to them be desensitized to human suffering. I get what you are trying to say but this might come off a little harsh.