Top Law Schools

So, I have recently decided to go in a different direction with my PS. Instead of talking about how my studies have led me to go to law schools, I’ve decided to talk about an experience that helped me mature. The experience has practically nothing to do with law but it does have to do with me developing into a responsible professional and leader. I figured this might be more original than my first PS. Anyways, I am sending Nov. 1st to Texas and I really need some critique. I need to tie in law better at the end. I was hoping someone could help make it more concise.

If you are kind of enough to critique, please PM and I will be forever grateful and be glad to look over any PS that you may have.