Life changing criminal PS Forum

[190]

See updated version below

[CGI Fridays]

I'll trade you:

You tell us how much weed & cash was in your possession at the time (not to be confused with how much was found, or how much was at the house, unless the answers are identical).

I do line editing.
& someone else puts up the willingness to contribute larger structural commentary etc.

[justadude55]

from my research into the PS (which was extensive), don't do this.

you are going to be known as the pot kid. you have your addendum for this.

let the PS focus on your positives.

i know your plan is to totally show that your arrest should not influence their decision, but this will only make it factor in more so because these people with much more experience than me will def be able to read into it.

seriously, don't submit this as your PS.

[1000king4ward]

I dont know.. I'm new to this too and am in the process of writing my PS but I think you did a good job..

[FTS]

I dont know.. I'm new to this too and am in the process of writing my PS but I think you did a good job..

yeah, i liked it too. You got around sounding like the usual pothead giving a lame "i learned from my experience". How many peeps are gonna have a story like this too?

[CGI Fridays]

yeah, i liked it too. You got around sounding like the usual pothead giving a lame "i learned from my experience". How many peeps are gonna have a story like this too?

I haven't read it yet (srsly holding out for my deal), but for what it's worth, justadude thinks... you know what I'm just gonna quote it:

Edit: justadude55 has asked me to delete the quote.

[justadude55]

yeah, i liked it too. You got around sounding like the usual pothead giving a lame "i learned from my experience". How many peeps are gonna have a story like this too?

I haven't read it yet (srsly holding out for my deal), but for what it's worth, justadude thinks... you know what I'm just gonna quote it:

Regarding a 2-state solution

palestinians can even reserve the right to kill all jews on their territory and continue killing citizens by law if they sell land to jews. however, if they kill one jew, muslim, christian or pagan in israeli land, israel reserves the right to occupy the land and take it over until the palestinians indicate they are capable of functioning in a mature fashion.

Take his word if you want, or don't... in which case... offer's still on the table... fuuuuull liiiiiiine ediiiiiiit.

you're an idiot. palestinians already kill jews on palestinian property, and are allowed to legally. i'm against the killing of anybody, but to expect the palestinians to be capable of not killing non-muslims will make a peace agreement impossible. as someone who has spent much time in israel, all i ask is that they try to not enter into foreign countries to kill non-muslims.

[190]

CGI you've got mail.

In terms of this topic, I won't be changing it. It meshes perfectly with my addendum/transcript/resume to become, in my opinion, very powerful. When combined they become an excellent narrative of this experience with the addenda pushing to the PS/resume/transcript and the PS pushing to the resume/transcript also.

[CGI Fridays]

Edit:
Deleted per OP's request.

[CGI Fridays]

Shit, I totally forgot length. This is 3 full pages double-spaced @ 11 font.

Aaaaagh. Some schools don't have limits, some do. Generally 2 pages is the standard.

[190]

Applications submitted

[CGI Fridays]

I made some of the changes you suggested, thanks for the help CGI, if you could just quickly proof it that would be great.

Can you change the color of the parts that have been revised?

[acfair]

"set my sights" not "set my sites"

[CGI Fridays]

"set my sights" not "set my sites"

I was like but I checked & this was originally correct until this last draft. Good catch.

[190]

Thanks for catching that, I'll highlight what I changed. Also CGI if you could edit/delete out the copy of it you posted above that would be great.

[190]

[acfair]

also, why is Crestfallen capitalized? Is this related to the toothpaste?

I also have chopped up this sentence and rearranged, because it was super awkward.

There was no magical Disney moment accompanied by orchestra music and fireworks, but topics we discussed in class, such as government intervention in the market and the risks of accepting venture capital funding, steadily piqued my interest.

[190]

Thanks acfair!

I must have copy/pasted when I was searching for synonyms for crushed last night.

[longdaysjourney]

Condense this to one page and make it a criminal conduct addendum.